


Midnight Buddies - Klance

by kkllaannccee



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender, Voltron: Legendary Defender RPF
Genre: Allura (Voltron) - Freeform, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Coran (Voltron) - Freeform, Cuban Lance (Voltron), Depression, Drinking Heavy Drinking, Drunk Keith (Voltron), F/M, Gay Keith (Voltron), Hunk (Voltron) - Freeform, Hurt Keith (Voltron), Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, James Griffin (Voltron) - Freeform, Keith (Voltron) Angst, Keith/Lance (Voltron) - Freeform, M/M, Multi, Nyma (Voltron) - Freeform, Older Keith Older Lance older hunk older Pidge, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse Triggers, Pidge | Katie Holt - Freeform, Pining Keith (Voltron), Protective Shiro (Voltron), Rape/Non-con Elements, Shiro (Voltron) - Freeform, Shiro (Voltron) is a Good Sibling, Swearing, keith (voltron) - Freeform, lance (voltron) - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-06-12 07:32:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 31,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15334953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kkllaannccee/pseuds/kkllaannccee
Summary: Keith is enjoying a night out to himself while Shiro is away at work. On his conquest to find solitude, he finds his way carrying an injured Lance back to his home. What was supposed to be one night of rest, turned into the best weeks of their lives.





	1. Starry Nights

**Author's Note:**

> It gets better, trust me.

Chapter One- Starry Night

July 21st, 12:32 AM

As Keith stuffed two of the twenty dollar bills from the pile of assorted bills in his dresser into his bag, given to him earlier that evening by Shiro who was off doing some expedition and had carefully advised him that he would be needing this money for the next two weeks, he made sure to lock the front door of their clearly lived in, brick Victorian home. From there he tripped over two pizza boxes and the cat. He made sure to leave two of the second story windows unlocked and carefully made his way out of the bay window on the first floor. Since he and Shiro live alone, for the most part, he didn't have to worry about making too much noise. This had been an issue in the past and left Keith having to make up strange excuses as to why he was in the middle of his kitchen fully dressed in boots and a sachel. Thankfully Shiro is a 'cool parent', or so he calls himself, and just assumes it's a phase.

As Keith approached the space center he caught a glimpse of the stars above him, he saw Scorpius, his constellation. He smiled and being the secret horoscope dork he is, sprinted gayly to his destination. When he reached the center he simply sat on the grass outside, took out his sketchbook, popped in his headphones, and in his safe solitude enjoyed the little moment he had to himself that night.

after an hour or two Keith had finished his drawing and he was ready to head back home. He gathered his things and started to go home. By this time it was around 4:30 AM and the sun would come up soon. It was this time of the night that Keith treasured the most, for it filled him with nostalgia and good memories of his childhood and Shiro bouncing him in his arms and letting Keith ride his shoulders on the way home from preschool. It also reminded him of his first kiss, which was a tragic but enlightening experience for him. 

It was starting to get bright out and Keith spotted what looked like a house party in the corner of his eye down a small street. Seeing as he has virtually no life outside of him and Pidge's study group he figured to gather up what balls he could find in him and started down the street to possibly start a life. 

"Hey, flannel! Haven't seen you in a while... Why not?"

Keith looked down and noticed the flannel tied around his waist and blushed out of awkwardness. He forced a smile and turned.

"H-hey Hunk, how are you? I haven't heard from you since you left our study group last year."

Hunk looked at him with a blank stare that turned into a nervous chuckle, he twiddled his fingers around.

"Yeah sorry buddy, I've just been busy with my uncle's diner... Anyway, It's interesting seeing you at a party? It's not over yet I'm sure we still have some dip or mayo left in the fridge!"

Keith laughed and moved on into the center of the house. There he saw randoms sleeping, or passed out, and there were red solo cups throughout the living room. He looked disgusted. There were some people who found the decency in themselves to stop kissing and exit when they saw Keith, while the rest of the conscious people just threw things around outside near the pool. Strange blue dust was in an overflowing bag on the carpet, which Keith dodged. Looking around he moved to the kitchen and sat on a bar stool near the counter. He wondered why the cops never came and just how out of control this party had gotten beforehand. Shaking his head he looked at his phone to check the time.

"this is why I don't go to parties" 

He muttered to himself as if going there would prove a point.

"Well of course! But understand that within these few hours things start to go wrong. Its really from 10-1 that things really are fun. I feel bad for the people who live here."

This jolting comment came from a rather raspy, warm voice. 

Keith, startled, looked over to see a tall dark haired boy across the kitchen counter. He smiled at Keith warmly.

"Hi, I'm Lance!"

Keith looked back at him blankly before realizing that it was his turn to speak.

"Keith... D-do I know you?" His voice felt uneasy.

"Just moved back here from Arizona, I left when I was 6." He smiled assuringly.

Keith wondered if he always kept that 'dream-boy' smile on, or if it was just to be friendly. 

"Woah what was that?!" Lance yelled over the sound of glass breaking. 

The two scurried to hide under the kitchen table to their left, trying to not make noise through the solo cups on the ground. Suddenly the door ripped open and two large jersey wearing figures came in through the front window rather than the wide-open door and started screaming violently. Keith recognized one of them, Coran Goran, they used to be friends until the incident had occurred.

The second figure recognized Keith and lance under the kitchen table and pointed it out to the other. At first, Coran stared, and then he picked up the table, ruthlessly cracked it in half, and then to the surprise of everyone else in the room (those who were not unconscious) he then picked Keith up by the back of his shirt, which was interesting yet terrifying for lance to witness. 

"WHO LET THIS FAGGOT IN?" He yelled in the most douchebaggy voice you could possibly imagine (probably even more so than you could imagine).

He dropped Keith and proceeded to the next living thing he could find.

Just as he was punching the life out of Lance, Keith interrupted his finale of fists.

"You're drunk, go home..." His voice was slurred and in pain from being hoisted and thrown 4 feet.

"WHAT IS THIS YOU BOYFRIEND???!! YOU COCKSUCKER SHUT UP IM DRUNK NOT!"

Lance laughed before getting his face fisted, Keith rolled his eyes.

The two large guys left, passing out after exiting the front window.

Keith got up still confused and very annoyed at what had just happened. Lance was laying on the floor, his face covered in blood, Keith asked him about his injuries, reassuring him that he would be fine. It turned out that lance couldn't walk and they both needed to leave ASAP. 

Lance had explained to Keith that his family was on vacation in Cuba visiting his grandmother, or as he called her, 'Abuella' and the reason he couldn't go was that his passport had some kind of Visa issue and it wouldn't go through. He was instructed by his family to stay at his friend's house until they got back since this trip cost a lot and they didn't want to reschedule for next year. Keith, feeling bad, offered to let him stay for the night until he found another friend since his friend was staying at the house from earlier, and

Keith carried lance on his back, making sure to walk slowly so that he wouldn't be uncomfortable. Of course, this was all under the assumption Lance was sleeping, which he wasn't, on the contrary, he was very much awake, gazing up at the stars and resting his head on Keith's.

"You can see Scorpius from here, how beautiful" Lance quietly whispered, his voice still raspy.

"That's my favorite one, it's my sign" Keith immediately blushed after that sentence because nobody really knows about his fascination with stars and zodiacs.

"Wow, I'm a Leo. But I don't know, Scorpius always just drew me in. Since I was little that was my hero, pretty strange huh?"

Keith smiled as they approached his front porch, and the trees cut off the view of the sky. 

"This is it, but just a warning this house is occupied by 2 immature guys and a cat, along with the occasional once a month cleaning from Shiro's girlfriend."

"Shiro? Is that your dad?" Lance looked confused.

"Um.. kind of I guess but- it's complicated really. He's more like a brother."

"That's fine with me!" chuckled Lance.

You could tell he was just trying to make small talk, he was just grateful that he had a place to stay. 

Upon entering the house, Lance looked at all of the pizza boxes, wires, and controllers on the floor of the living room, he noticed the kitchen was strangely clean from what he saw of it (probably because they clearly order so much pizza). He felt Keith's warm blush as his head lay on Keith's shoulder close to his neck.

"Sorry, I'm just scared of the ceilings bonking my head."

"It's alright" Keith nervously chuckled.

Keith worked his way up the stairs to his bedroom, which to Lance's surprise reluctantly had a bathroom in it. Keith slid Lance around his waist to the front of his body so that they were facing, then gently placed him on the bench of his bay window, which cushioned Lance comfortably. 

"I'll be back, I need to go get the emergency kit, stay there and don't touch your face." Keith rushed to go get the Medical supplies. He was glad Allura had forced him to keep one, he was also glad that Shiro dated a nurse that was smart enough to provide them with it knowing how reckless they both are. It has certainly proven useful in the past years.

As Keith climbed the last steps and entered his room he was greeted by Lance petting his cat. 

"I think she likes me!" 

Keith rolled his eyes and called his cat back.

"Keef do you want a treat? Come here, girl!" Keith said in a sing-song voice.

The fluffy black cat ran up to Keith from Lance's lap and immediately purred weaving between his legs.

"What kind of name is Keef?" Lance snorted, which made Keith blush. "Come here Keefy- Weefy, Come on girl!" Keith turned more red than humanly possible.

The cat curled into Lance's lap and slept within an instant.

"I got her when I was 8 and I wasn't allowed to name her socks." Keith stuttered before he brushed off Lance's question.

"Why would you name a cat socks?"

"Well I mean she fluffy, and I like fluffy socks" Keith moved towards Lance with the kit and kneeled beside him opening the case. 

"Plus," He continued, "Keef was my nickname and she acted just like me when she was a kitten, she was my only friend..."

"So you rubbed onto everyone?" Lance scoffed.

"No, she was usually alone and calmer than the other kittens, they were living in my backyard for a couple weeks until their mom died, I kept her, and gave the rest to Shiro's cousins." Keith continued, "Now she's all loving towards me and people she's close with, I'm surprised she isn't trying to kill you right now. It's probably because I'm not nervous."

"Why would you be nervous around me?" Lance genuinely looked interested in Keith, this might have been because the two of them just got jumped and attacked at a deserted party, and they were bonding over a cat, what a strange bonding moment.

"Give me your arm." Keith changed the subject.

Keith put Peroxide on Lance's arm, where he had fallen onto the glass of the window, which hurt very brutely. 

"AIY! HIJO DE PUTA!!" Lance screamed as the Peroxide burned his wounds.

"Language please!" Keith said firmly. "And would you quit whining? I'm almost done"

"What time is it anyway?" Lance asked.

"5:46 AM" Keith said through a yawn. "There I'm done. The bathroom's right there and I'll get you some blankets from downstairs. You can look in my dresser for something to change into. Sleep pants are in the top drawer and T-shirts are in the third, if you need anything else like underwear you can find it, just don't go in the bottom drawer that's my wires and shit I don't want you messing those up. I'll be up in like 5 minutes."

Lance was surprised at the extent of Keith's hospitality. After all, they had met two hours ago. He gathered his clothes as instructed and while Keith kindly made his bed, he went into the bathroom to freshen up for sleep. Keith had already set a brand new toothbrush on the counter, still in its package, along with a small rolled toothpaste tube. 

"Thank you for letting me crash and being so nice about it," Lance said as Keith got out of the bathroom and slipped into his bed.

"No problem. I'm used to some friends sleeping over occasionally after a long night of studying, so it's really not a big deal. Plus I know what it's like to have nowhere to go." Keith smiled at Lance and turned off the light next to his bed, leaving a moon lamp on. 

Lance stared at the star stickers on his ceiling, before turning over to look as the actual stars faded away. 

What a beautiful starry night it was. Little did they know it would get a whole lot interesting.


	2. Change of Plans

Chapter Two - Change of Plans

July 19th, 11:46 AM

Keith woke to the sound of coughing.

"L-lance, buddy? Are you up?" Keith groaned, stretching his arms up.

To Keith's surprise, he saw Lance eating what looked like a pizza slice from a paper plate. 

"Oh, good morning!" Lance said with a cheerful smile. "Don't worry I paid for it... I can walk now, and I ordered some for you too!" He pointed to a pizza box on Keith's nightstand. 

"Thanks... But you didn't have t-"

"-Nonsense! You pretty much saved me last night, it's the least I can do" Lance said while chewing a piece of cinnamon bread.

Keith took the box and the paper plate that was on it. He noticed it was still warm, so Lance couldn't have been alone for long. Lance noticed that Keith was shirtless and blushed while looking away.

"So my parents called and apparently their stay is extended another week... By the way, do you have a charger so that my phone doesn't die? I have to look for somewhere to stay until then."

"I could really use the company. I mean if you want to stay here that is?" Keith realized he was blushing but played it off with a smile.

"Really man? It would mean the world to me. You don't have to, and what about your dad- brother thing? I mean would he be okay with this? I really don't want to be a bothe-"

"-what he doesn't know won't kill him, and that's only because he barely trusts me alone as is. "

They finished the box and Keith left to put their bloody clothes into the drier. Meanwhile, Lance was taking a shower, still thankful and in denial of the whole situation and kindness of Keith. When he finished he put on his previous outfit that Keith had folded nicely onto his make-shift bed and sat patiently notifying Hunk that he couldn't stay with his family after what had happened, and he felt like it was a good idea to just not intrude. Hunk agreed, knowing that his friends would give Lance hell.

Keith had suggested that they swing by lance's house and pick up some clothes so that Keith's tiny wardrobe wouldn't be even tinier. 

"So why didn't they just let you stay home alone? Not trying to be rude or anything by the way."

"Oh no, it's fine. My family isn't great with money and since I would be alone that means they would have to pay for bills and leave me with at least 200 dollars for food and emergency. I guess they just didn't want to over-expense in those things, and leaving me at a friend's would resolve that issue and .make me less lonely"

"Oh. I didn't mean to pry or anything. But if you don't mind me asking, why did they choose to leave you with Hunk?"

Lance looked at Keith and his voice went deeper and less warm.

"Hunk and I were friends when we were younger. You know, before I moved to Arizona. Our families never lost touch and they're pretty close. Listen, about last night I don't know I just feel uncomfortable staying there if he would just watch and let us get torn up like that. Makes me feel unwelcome you know?" His voice returned, "Anyway why did that redhead kid seem like he knew you, and that was fucked up calling you a faggot. There isn't anything wrong with that, I mean I'm Bi so I understand how it feels but that was just cold-hearted."

Keith blocked out most of what he said except the last part.

"It's nothing just a little fight a couple years ago, pretty dumb if you ask me. I don't want to get into that though. How old are you?"

"Right heh, we never really talked about that... I'm 16, turning 17 in about a week."

Keith thought back to being alone on his 17th birthday and Shiro buying him the moleskin sketchbook he'd been eyeing for weeks. 

"I guess we'll be celebrating together then!" Keith smiled softly. "I'm turning 18 in October."

Lance nodded, thinking to himself that Keith's age is probably what makes him more mature. They continued their walk.

"We're here! The McClain family house. Ew, that sounded better in my head..."

Keith couldn't help but laugh.

As they entered Keith saw the suitcases and covered furniture, although there wasn't much, along the walls of the house. They grabbed a suitcase from Lance's bedroom labeled with masking tape 'clothes n shit' and Lance dragged it outside and locked up the house.

"Don't you have a car or something?" Lance said in irritation from both the heat and heaviness of the suitcase.

"Yes, but I like walking, lets you think."

"Thinking my ass. Driving and music are what really clears your mind."

"Exactly my point..." Keith said smirking. " But fine, If you want we can drive."

"Speaking of which, we need groceries. I saw how empty your kitchen was when I went downstairs to look for food." Lance sounded concerned. "Do you really only eat junk like this?"

"I guess?" Keith went pale.

As they approached the house, Keith helped Lance take his suitcase upstairs, and sat down on his bed as Lance filled an empty dresser that Keith had never used since his wardrobe was so limited.

"You draw?" Lance said, noticing Keith's sketchbook in his hand.

"Sketch, but yea I guess."

Lance didn't want to pry so he let it be. 

For the next few hours they argued and bickered about the shopping list, and finally came to an organized list given the budget and needed general criteria. 

"Okay the total money between us is $600 dollars that Shiro left me, $40 that you had, and $25 in cents that we found in my dresser. right?"

Lance holding a notepad and calculator looked up and nodded, stuffing his pen behind his ear.

"That makes the total around-"

"-$665? Simple math. Oh and don't forget the 32 cents extra. $665.32 is our total." Keith nudged his black framed glasses up his nose. He only wore them for studying, or when he wanted to look good.

It was 10 pm and the grocery store closes at 1 so they made their way to the car, leaving $200 dollars in Keith's drawer for an emergency.

The car ride there was 20 minutes long and... interesting. 

After about 10 minutes of Keith's indie smooth music, Lance couldn't take it anymore.

"Can I PLEASE have the aux. I think I'll die if I have to listen to this shit for the next 15 minutes."

"Okay, but we have to agree on a song before you play it."

Lance scrolled through his music reading off names while Keith replied with either 'yes' or 'no'.

"Do we want Drake?"

"Not in that mood"

"Goth rock?"

"I'm not that emo."

"Ah, so you're a Panic! At The Disco kind of emo."

"Fuck. No."

"Okay, you wouldn't like these. I'll just play a song then you can choose one after." 

"Sounds good."

Beyonce's Irreplaceable starts playing after 5 minutes of Keith's music. 

"To the left, to the left" Keith mumbles as Lance starts to fall asleep for no reason.

After about a minute Keith is screaming out the lyrics to the song, this was quite possibly the gayest thing he'd ever done.

"DON'T YOU EVER FOR A SECOND GET TO THINKINGGGG YOU'RE IRREPLACEABLE" His voice cracked after every word.

At this point, Lance had woken up and started singing too, and he felt whole knowing that Keith was at least some form of a human for loving Queen Bey as well. 

When the song finished Keith noticed that Lance was awake and nearly off-roaded when he realized Lance was singing too.

Lance laughed, "I knew you had to be a little bit human under there." He smiled and blushed at Keith.

"We're here lover-boy."

They entered the sliding doors and Keith got a cart.

"No fair I want to push it,"Lance whined.

Keith gave Lance a toothy sinister grin and pointed suggestingly to the basket of the cart.

"This oughta be fun," Lance said as he crawled into the cart.

"Okay, so our budget today is $200 dollars. Do you have the list?" Keith looked at Lance.

"Roger that, retrieving the list." Lance jokingly declared.

Their shopping cart was composed of the essentials for the next week, in no particular order, including toilet paper, dishes, spoons, forks (all plastic) fruits, vegetables, mixed nuts, protein bars, a gallon of Arizona (which they both suggested the same flavor), toothpaste, cat food for Keef, cake mix that Keith secretly bought for Lance, air fresheners since they would be staying in the same room and it was bound to stink up, shampoo and shower essentials, a clay mask that Lance convinced Keith was good for his dry skin, and finally they made their way to the snacks/drinks aisle just passed the Arizona.

"Cosmic Brownies?" Lance asked knowing the response he would get.

"Why not, while we're still young," Keith said as if he were high off of the night, and the rush filled his head with gleeful thoughts, knowing that this is the most fun he's had all summer.

The two reached the end of the aisle and noticed the ice cream section. First Keith looked at Lance, maintaining sight on the freezers. Then Lance looked directly at Keith, and they both bowed their heads knowing what would come next. Keith ran full speed to the end of the aisle racing faster than the time he accidentally said 'motherfucker' in front of Shiro, after stubbing his toe and bruising his whole foot on the coffee table.

Keith let go of the cart leaving Lance flying out of control, Lance was screaming, first out of adrel=neline and excite, then out of fear of crashing. Keith ran to catch the cart and when he did the inertia flew Lance onto him and the two fell on the ground covered in the bins of clearance items at the center of the aisle. They laughed uncontrollably, then cleaned up the mess and picked up some ice cream, moose tracks, and fish food. Both of their favorite flavors.

When it came time for checkout, They had bought a pack of Bazooka Bubblegum and not counting that had spent $198.99. 

The car ride back home composed of Lance screaming to Ke$ha, and Keith blushing while singing along, and then Lance taking a nap, and his soft snores keeping Keith awake in the night. 

It was 1:15 AM and Keith had stopped at a nearby 7/11 to get gas. Lance had woken up from Keith's awkward poking at his chest, each poke making him a bit redder.

"Do you want Slurpees?" Keith smiled eagerly.

"I want A Slurpee." Lance corrected him.

The two entered the store and Lance went to get his Slurpee while Keith went to pay for gas. Keith had instructed him to make to bottom layer about an inch thick of Pepsi flavor, then carefully layer cherry a half inch, and keep layering until the lid section which was to be blue raspberry, Lance followed as instructed. However Lance's Slurpee was rather simple, every flavor had it's own layer except pina colada because nobody likes pina colada.

When Keith came back in to pay, the clerk gave them an evil look. She was an old woman, probably in her 60s, and was wearing a large pink sweater cardigan over a plain white T-shirt that seemed to have several coffee stains on it. Her name tag said, Haggar. 

"Didn't know faggots were legal in Texas." She muttered as they left the store.

Lance caught on and stormed back in, followed by a confused Keith.

"For the record lady, I'm BISEXUAL and I'm damn proud of being myself. ITS CALLED INDIVIDUALITY AND ME AND MY BOYFRIEND ARE HAPPY SO IF YOU HAVE A PROBLE-"

"Lance, come on it's not worth it." Keith interrupted. He knew Lance was bluffing, only to prove his point.

"I should've refused service. I would've if I had known you two were a couple of faggots, Jesus haters. If my pop were alive I'll tell you two."

"I don't appreciate your opinion, but I think we're done here. Thank you for your service." Keith said respectfully.

"I THINK NOT" Lance interrupted, still angry at the old witch lady. 

Within that 10 second window, Lance grabbed Keith by the face and kissed him right on the mouth not taking his eyes off of the merchant. Keith was blushing terribly so, and when it was over lance looked at the lady and simply said, "That's what I thought." He grabbed Keith's hand and dragged him out of the store, holding both Slurpees in his hand, and the receipt in his mouth. They were silent the whole 5-minute ride back home. Each sipping on their Slurpees until nothing was left and the silence grew louder.

Just before they got out of the car, Lance broke the silence.

"Sorry about that. I just hate homophobes so much. That bitch had it coming."

"It's okay," Keith smiled. "She really did deserve it, you're right."

After that long day, the two were exhausted. They finished unloading the groceries and Lance won the competition they held to see who could carry the most groceries in. The benefit to this was that they got them all in within one trip thanks to their competitiveness.

They went straight to bed and when Lance was asleep Keith called Shiro.

"Hey, Keith, what's up? Is everything okay?"

"Yea, listen. There's a change of plans. One of my friends' family is out of town and he needs a place to stay for a couple weeks."

"Are you sure its JUST a friend? You know we talked about this, but I just want to make sure you guys are safe and al-"

"-OH MY JESUS SHIRO, NO WHAT DO YOU EVEN MEAN?!"

"Oh, okay. Well have fun, and remember to spend your money wisely."

"Yeah, we went grocery shopping today, we combined our money. Thanks for being cool about it."

"You know me, the 'coolest for schoolest', listen I got to get back to my training but call me if you need anything! Oh, and Kuro says hi!"

"They let you bring your mannequin into a space simulator? Nasa is officially going insane. And of course Shiro, you are the 'coolest' of them all."

"I love you squirt, goodnight."

"Love you too."


	3. Do-Over

Chapter Three - Do-Over

July 20th, 3:15 AM

"Keith? Are you okay? KEITH! SAY SOMETHING!" Lance said in terror as he witnessed Keith grasping his ears and screaming.

"MAKE IT ALL STOP!! PLEASE STOP!! PLEASE."

"Keith, it's me, Lance. It's okay. I'm here. It's alright now." Lance sat Keith up in his bed and faced him while reassuring him, his hands holding Keith's wrists which were still covering his ears. 

The two sat there for about 5 minutes until Keith stopped screaming and instead apologized non-stop to Lance.

"I'm so sorry you had to see that, I'm sorry I feel so bad..." He went on until Lance finally stopped him.

"It's okay. Bad dream?" Lance said while rocking Keith in his arms and shushing him like a mother would a crying baby.

"I get night terrors. Stuff I don't remember when I was a small child. I'm sorry." Keith said, shaking. 

"It's okay. I get it. You almost gave me a heart attack." Lance sighed.

"I think I hit my head on my nightstand, I'm kinda dizzy," Keith said urging his hands to his head.

Lance felt his head and found a bump where Keith said he had hit it.

"Well you might have a concussion, so you cant go back to bed. Looks like we're staying up tonight." Lance said, trying to brighten the mood.

"Wasn't very tired anyway." Keith chuckled, sitting up and picking up his blankets looking for the sweater that he had taken off while he was sleeping.

Lance picked up the navy sweater from the floor and handed it to Keith.

"So is this 'Shiro' in the army or something? I heard you guys on the phone, something about a space simulator?"

"Oh," Keith realized that conversation wasn't private. "No, he's a test pilot for aerodynamics and an engineer. But he studied astronomical stuff for a while and Nasa reached out to him a couple years ago interested in this mission to Pluto or something." Keith had lost eye contact and opened up his laptop while maintaining the conversation.

"That's pretty cool if you ask me. I've always loved space, and I went to space camp when I was 12. But I got kicked out after 4 weeks into the 3-month program." Lance said shaking his head and laughing.

"I wonder why... What did you flirt with a general or something?" Keith said rolling his eyes.

"Actually no, one of the flight teachers took a liking towards me. Well, to make a long story short the old lady was a perv and there was this really talented girl that should've been above me, so I gave myself an allergic reaction using an angry bee."

"Well then, good job?" Keith said, confused and slightly impressed that Lance didn't do something crazy like flash someone important or other dumb stuff.

"Are you picking a movie? We should watch one of those old black and white movies. Does Netflix still have The Seven Year Itch? Or how about Breakfast at Tiffany's?" Lance was more excited with every movie name he pulled out.

"You like those types of movies too?" Keith said surprised.

"Yea, I grew up in a whole different era of vibes. Typewriters and record players."

"Huh... Me too." Keith looked at him and smiled. "I think we should watch a show, like Bewitched. You know so that we can watch it while you're here."

"Good idea," Lance agreed. "You get that started, I'll get the snacks, I'm starving."

Lance left to get food from the kitchen while Keith found some illegal movie pirating website and connected his laptop to a projector in the concave shelf above his headboard so that it would project onto the space in front of his bed.

"Okay, I got just the main essentials..."

Lance had balanced the following items in his arms, all stacked in large punch bowls that lance had suggested would 'add to the home aesthetic' while shopping:

-Ice Cream

-Popcorn

-chocolate

-Pop Tarts

-Hot Cheetos

-2 spoons 

"...This should do the trick. hit play."

The two sat on Keith's bed and shared a blanket while leaning on the headboard. The snacks were placed on the edge of the bed so that nothing spilled, and for the first couple of episodes they just passed the ice cream tub back and forth and held their own spoon until Lance's spoon started dripping onto the blanket so they just huddled around it together. The rest of the snacks were pretty much rejected besides the popcorn which Keith would occasionally dip into the ice cream. It wasn't until he urged Lance to try it that Lance stopped glaring at him in disgust.

After 5 or 6 episodes of the old sit-com, they had run out of ice cream and had gotten tired of the TV show.

"Do you just want to talk while it plays. If that god damned mother-in-law messes with Darren again, I'll throw a fit. We might as well just watch I Dream of Jeanie, at least it's the wife that's doing the messing up."

"Sure Lance," Keith laughed. "You really do take these shows seriously huh?"

"I guess so," Lance smiled and stacked all of the bowls onto a table in the center of the room. Then he grabbed the blanket from his bed and sat facing Keith, partially blocking the view of the screen.

"So, what's high school like here in Housten?" Lance figured making small talk might help the awkward situation.

"Hell, you mean?" Keith joked. "Same old. Everyone's just separate. We mind our own business I guess. My study group is the only group of people I talk to besides the security guards and librarians."

"Well besides that I meant. Don't you have a boyfriend or something? Anything interesting?"

Keith snorted from what Lance had just said, "The only reason people know I'm gay, is because of what happened a few years ago. Trust me, you wouldn't want to know. It isn't pretty."

"If you don't mind, I'm sick of hearing about everyone's perfect lives. Please?"

"Okay, but it's hard to explain, I'll have to show you, that is if you're interested," Lance nodded, so Keith pointed to the dresser where lance kept his things, and the two got ready to leave the house.

After a long walk, and Lance explaining why Marvel is superior to DC while Keith blocked it all out from rage, they reached the space center Keith visited that night they had met.

"This place holds a lot of memories to me. I come here some nights to sketch and clear my mind." Keith talked as though he was proud of the place. He gestured Lance to the front lawn and continued to talk as they sat down. "Shiro used to take me here for pre-school when I was little, and this was the place I was found when I was a little boy. My dad was a fireman, and we ironically had a house fire. I'm assuming I just ran down a couple blocks and ended up here. I remember him yelling at me to leave as soon as possible and so I did. Shiro found me crying on the steps after a take your kid to work day with his dad, and he's the one that saved my dad from the fire."

"Wait, your dad's alive?"

"No, let me finish."

"Fine -_-"

"Did you just? How the fuck did you just say that out loud?"

"What? uwu"

"JESUS CHRIST....MOVING ON" 

****NOTE: I JUST REALLY WANTED TO DO THAT LOL ITS SO BAD****

"He got to the hospital, but it was too late, and Shiro promised him to take care of me. Of course, he was 8 and didn't know what he was getting himself into, but I was in the system until Shiro was old enough to adopt me. As for my mom, my birth records don't identify her but I know for sure I wasn't born out of a test tube. She probably was forced into leaving me by her family because my dad described her as beautiful and told me how much she loved me."

"Wow, that's beautiful. Not trying to be rude, but what about the whole boyfriend situation?"

"Oh, right. Sorry, emo moment." Keith joked to lighten the mood after his very unnecissary story. "So I had a best friend named Romelle, and I showed her this place because we were really close and she wanted to know more about me. I guess she had the wrong impression. Anyway, so we were what we called 'midnight buddies' and we would both sneak out at 1 or 2 am just to come here and be in our little bubble of solitude for a couple of hours. So one night I guess I might have led her to believe I was into her. I told her I was glad that I'd met her because she was nice to share this time with, and she kissed me. Not only did I want to throw up, but I did. And the next day she told the whole school that I was a faggot including her brother Coran, who beat the shit out of us."

"Damn," Lance reached for a high five which Keith returned.

"Thanks?"

"Well anyway, doesn't this make us midnight buddies? I think this is our time of night, or day, technically. I mean its almost 6 am, and the sky is getting brighter."

Keith smiled and led him back home.

The two returned to their spots.

"Now we have to stay up so we can be up at night tomorrow." Keith smiled eagerly.

"This feels like a middle school sleepover party. All we're missing is spin the bottle and booze." Lance chuckled.

"I can arrange one of the two," Keith smiled.

"Well then?"

"Just kidding. Whiskey or Vodka? I can also grab wine but I'd rather one of the first." Keith said carelessly.

"I wouldn't know. Um, whatever suits a beginner?" Lance nervously laughed.

"You've never had anything to drink? Honestly, this doesn't make sense. If anything YOU would be the drinker and I would be the emo mommy's boy." Keith stared at lance in disbelieve. "Well, Vodka it is. Don't want to force you if you don't want to bye the way."

"No, this should be fun. Keith smiled."

Keith kneeled to reach under his bed and slid out a bottle of Vodka and 2 shot glasses onto the soft carpet that lay under. He sat on the bed facing Lance, handed him one of the glasses, and poured the liquid into each.

"Cheers to a new friendship." Keith smiled.

"Does it burn?" Lance asked.

"The first couple of times. But we're only taking a few shots don't worry. Nothing too extreme." Keith assured him.

The sun came up finally, and 12 shots later the two were spilling their darkest secrets. 

"Okay, Okay. If you could either find true love or eat ice cream what would you do." Keith slurred his words.

"Ice cream of course, why would you want a boyfriend?" Lance practically yelled.

"No, I'd be down for the ice cream." Keith giggled at this.

"Hey listen dud, I'm sorry about smooching you earlier like that was an accident and I didn't mean it. I mean I did mean it, what? Okay. Sorry." Lance was confused at his own sentence, but Keith understood completely. He was fluent in the language of drunk.

"It was nice. Soft." Keith cradled himself and got red in the face.

"Are you sure you're not Asian dude, you're getting that glow."

"Wait," Lance realized what Keith had said before. "You liked my kiss?" Lance's face turned into Bashful from the seven dwarfs.

"Yea. Do over?" Keith didn't even realize what he had just said. If normal Keith were there he would probably be in a gay crisis.

Lance put the alcohol on the floor and looked at Keith, eager. Keith couldn't stop laughing.

"Take me seriously," Lance said while breaking down laughing.

"Okay, okay just let me focus." Keith kept a straight face for about a second then burst out laughing.

Lance finally just kissed him and throughout the 15 minutes that the kissing had occurred, they were either distracted by each other or just laughing.

This moment, to them, felt like forever. Finally, as the night concluded and the sky was engulfed in light, they had fallen asleep.


	4. First You Shake It, Then You Bake It

Chapter Four - First You Shake It, Then You Bake It

July 20th, 2:56 PM

Keith woke up to the thumping of rain on his window sill and feeling Lance's heartbeat under his left palm. He saw that they were both shirtless, but to his relief, they were still wearing pants. Keith's hand laid flat on the center of Lance's chest, which when realizing he had snapped back into reality, was safe, and warm, and everything it should have been. He went back to sleep out of exhaustion and wanting the moment to last.

A couple of hours later, Keef jumped up onto the two of them and scared Lance awake. 

"What?" Lance looked at Keith. "What. Just happened?"

"Last night we were drunk and made out. And now we're sleeping in my bed simultaneously while shirtless." Keith gave Lance a blank stare which was pretty amusing given the situation.

"Oh. Okay?" Lance laughed. "Why does my head hurt? And are you okay with what happened? I'm really confused."

"You're. We're hungover. You get over it in a day or sometimes even two." Keith groaned as he sat up in the bed. "As for last night, I don't really know what happened or what we said but I do remember the kiss."

"Same," Lance said remembering the soft giggles from that moment. "This isn't awkward, right?"

"Not if you make it, right?" Keith proposed. "I thought it was quite nice, but it doesn't have to mean anything. Like you said it was pretty much a middle school sleepover, booze and spin the bottle."

"I guess. But I thought it was nice too." Lance sat up beside Keith and brought his right knee up to his chest and held it. 

Lance looked at Keith straight in the eyes and leaned in. Keith followed and the two shared that moment before leaning in even more so that their lips locked and they sealed a small kiss.

"We should clean up," Keith broke away smoothly and suggested. "This room is a mess. OW!"

Keef bit Keith's leg right when he said that, and soon after the rain started pouring down immensely.

"I can clean up the snacks and stuff, you fix the rest," Lance said in a kind tone.

Keith arranged the furniture in his room nicely, then went to take a shower. When he got out he smelled something he hadn't in years. A breakfast. The kind Allura used to make when she was still a student and stayed over. Keith remembered waking up to the smell of honey tea, and turkey bacon since Allura was a health freak, and the sound of maple syrup squeezed onto fresh soft waffles. He got dressed in soft baggy pajamas and headed downstairs.

To Keith's surprise, Lance was dressed in similar apparel and an apron, while flipping pancakes on the stove top. Keith saw a plate of bacon and nibbled off a piece of one, then walked over to Lance and examined his cooking. 

Lance sensed him and turned around, holding a pancake out. Keith took a bite and tasted sweet chocolate, his eyes rolled back and he smiled.

"These are so good. Thank you." Keith went to set the table before being stopped by Lance.

"Not yet," Lance's hand was on Keith's chest holding him from reaching for a plate, which to Keith felt like he was almost grabbing his heart. "You're gonna help me make some more batter. this was a tester batch and only made 4 pancakes. Unless you want 2."

"No, that's okay. What do you need?" Keith smiled.

"Get 3 eggs from the fridge." Lance flipped the last pancake onto a plate next to the stove.

"You make stuff from scratch?" Keith asked.

"Well we didn't buy pancake mix, I looked."

Keith suddenly remembered the cake mix and was relieved after remembering he hid it before Lance got in the house. He got eggs from the fridge, along with the other ingredients. 

Lance showed Keith how to whisk, and they made enough batter to make 20 pancakes, they got carried away with each other. Finally, lance cooked them all up and Keith re-heated the bacon on the stove. The two dusted their pancakes with powdered sugar and drizzled them with syrup and butter, and after their long meal of laughing and jokes they decided to play a game of scrabble.

Keith was sitting with his legs crossed on the fluffy blanket they had laid out onto the floor. Another blanket was wrapped around his shoulders and over his head to form a comfortable burrito. Lance was inside of the burrito as well, adjacent to Keith. About halfway into the game thing got interesting.

"Tempestuous. That's what you are." Keith said, proud of himself. "Triple word score, plus a 50 point bingo. That's 95 points." He declared with a smirk.

"Alrighty, then Keith. You better not get cocky with me." Lance turned his head only inches from Keith's face. "I got it." Lance reached for all of his pieces which were lined up on the rack perpendicular to the two.

"Certifiable. That's you." Lance looked at Keith with a toothy grin. "2 double word scores, and a 50 point bingo. 122 points. Poor baby Keefy Weefy." Lance mockingly pouted.

"Baby?"

"Baby."

As if they'd had enough kissing, Keith rolled over in the blanket burrito and pushed Lance to the floor pinning him. After that long, passionate kiss, the two did nothing but that.

For the next couple of days, the routine flowed pretty much the same. Just the two of them. Sometimes reading, sometimes cooking, playing board games, and sometimes just talking, and especially going out at night to distant places like the space center, or just the calm empty Walmart to roam around racing in mobilized seated carts.

***********************************************************************************************

 

July 25th, 4:00 PM

Keith was sitting on his bed, drawing. Lance was behind, holding him and watching. 

"I don't really know that much about you, you know," Keith said.

"Well, what would you like to know?"

"Tell me about your family." Keith turned around his head and placed it on Lance's chest briefly before turning back and resuming his sketch.

"Well, my family is really wholesome and kind. But they kind of refuse to look at me the same since last year,"

"What happened?" Keith almost whispered, his voice was so quiet.

"My little brother Marco walked in on me kissing my 'best friend' and then everyone found out. I hated myself for so long. My siblings and mom still treat me somewhat the same, but my dad can barely look at me and my Abuela still won't mention me as her grandson. I'm referred to only as my mother's son. That's part of the reason they left me here, my mom had the opportunity to stay with her close friend in Arizona and we could've made it work, but my Abuela insisted she come and the witch always gets her way." Lance's voice started breaking after the last part.

"Hey. It's not your fault that you're being yourself. It's their fault that they don't seem to love you the same no matter what. I'm sure it's in their hearts, they just are blinded by their tradition." Keith held Lance's cold teary cheeks and planted him a kiss on the forehead before turning around again and wrapping Lance's arms tighter around his waist.

"I'm done. Do you like it?" Keith held up his sketchbook to Lance.

"It's so beautiful. Was that the night we met?" Lance smiled. "And are you blushing in that??"

"Stop it," Keith blushed. "It's just sweat from how heavy you are."

Lance pulled Keith up and leaned back until Keith took it back.

That night the two decided to cook a nice dinner instead of ordering takeout every night, that way they would actually use the groceries.

"Shake N' Bake?" Keith asked.

"I'll shake, you bake?" Lance asked flirtatiously. "Get it, from Charlie's Angels?"

"Yea, didn't they play Scrabble in that movie as well?" Keith leaned on the counter before propping himself up onto it, starting to read the instructions on the box.

"I suppose," Lance glanced at the box then set the oven on to preheat accordingly. "So, what was coming out to Shiro like?" 

"I dunno, quick?" Keith shrugged. "I Remember we were sitting on the roof looking at the moon through a telescope and trying to find the flag using Shiro's old tech navigational skills. I told him about the 7th grade and how much I hated my teachers, Zarkon and Menna. And then I told him about how kids at school were calling me a faggot and I didn't know what that meant. He explained to me that its a horrible word making fun of people who like the same gender, and I remember asking him if it was wrong to like boys. He told me he'd love me no matter who I liked, and that it was not wrong at all. And then I just simply said 'good, because I do' and from freshman year till now he freaks out whenever I mention a guy, even if we're friends."

"That's exactly what I wish I had, but I suppose we balance each other out in that way." Lance smiled at Keith while cutting the fat off of a chicken drumstick.

Suddenly the house phone rang and Keith walked over to answer. it was from Shiro's work.

"H-hello? Shiro? Shiro?!"

"Hey, Keith. I just wanted to check up on you two."

Keith let out a sigh.

"Oh, we're fine. Lance is actually making us some Shake N' Bake right now. I'm attempting to help."

"That sounds like fun. Listen, is your friend around right now?"

"Um, yea he's right here. Why?"

"Well I told commander Slav about why I was calling you, and he said things could go wrong in all sorts of ways. I really don't think It's a good idea for him to be staying. You know I would never kick a guest out of our house, but I just needed to make sure you guys were okay together."

"It's fine Shiro. We'll survive for another week. Both you and his family are coming back the same day so you don't have to worry about anything."

"Okay. Tell your friend I said hi."

"Boyfriend, and sure."

"Wait, WHAT?!"

"Love you Shiro, byee!"

Keith hung up the phone and walked over to Lance and blushed when Lance acknowledged Keith calling him his boyfriend, then explained to Lance what Shiro had said.

"I should go. I'm not welcomed." Lance started to walk towards Keith's bedroom to pack his things, but Keith stopped him.

"That's not what he said. He said that he didn't know if we would be okay."

After 5 more minutes of arguing Lance had taken enough.

"I should be going anyway. What will Hunk's family say?"

"Fuck Hunk's family."

"Fuck you. Let me leave."

"Lance, please."

"No. Nobody's ever okay with me. I'm not okay with me. You probably aren't even okay with me. I'm just a big let down." Lance punched Keith, then shrunk to the floor apologizing.

Keith dropped down beside him and he cradled lance in his arm. 

"It's okay buddy. I'm more than okay with you."

After that moment, the two ate chicken in silence. 

"I didn't know chicken could be so boring," Lance said, glaring down at his barely eaten plate.

" Well, maybe that's because you didn't put any vegetables or mashed potatoes on your plate." Keith joked.

"I guess you're right." Lance couldn't stop staring at the blood stained on Keith's nose in comparison with the glass cut he got the night of the party. "I guess everything's just boring now. It's all just empty."

The sound of rain soothed the two as they finished their meals.

"What do you want to do for your birthday?" Keith looked up at Lance.

"We aren't celebrating my birthd-"

"Excuse me? Yes, we fucking, are. No exceptions. What do you want to do?" Keith grabbed Lance's hand from across the table.

"Nothing. We can like watch a movie or something." Lance still seemed really hurt from what happened earlier, but Keith knew it would pass.

"Okay. Epic movie marathon it is." Keith smiled. "We should watch classics like Strangers On a Train, or My Fair Lady."

"Sounds good." Lance's eyes started to water. "Listen, I-I'm sorry about everything. I feel like all I've ever done was mess things up. I'm sorry if Shiro hates you, and I'm sorry this whole thing is just so weird and mushy and-" Lance broke out in tears but right before he finished his sentence Keith cut it off with a kiss.

"Stop worrying. Come on, I want to take you somewhere." Keith got up, put the dishes and food away, and he and Lance went upstairs and changed.


	5. 5 - Clearing Things Up

TRIGGER WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF VIOLENCE AND NON CONSENTUAL SEXUAL INTERACTIONS. IF YOU ARE EASILY TRIGGERED BY THE TOPIC OF RAPE OF SELF HARM/ CONTENT ABUSE I STRONGLY RECCOMEND THAT YOU DO NOT READ THIS CHAPTER. TREAT THIS AS YOUR ONLY TRIGGER WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER. DISCRETION IS ADVISED TO ALL VIEWERS.

July 25, 11:56 PM

Keith drove hesitantly down a series of alleyways and neighborhoods until they reached a building that was exceptionally well kept and new looking, especially given the urban vibes of the surrounding area. 

It was around the size of a large supermarket, like how k-mart used to have big k and super k. The front of the building was all brick and the interior was lit by bright fluorescents that shone through the wide glass windows that took up most of the room. it looked as though a sign had either once been there, or was scheduled to be put up. This made it seem as though the building was relatively new.

Lance took note of the overall tone in the given area, as he didn't really know what to expect upon arrival. 

"Where did you take me?" Lance looked at Keith from the passenger's side. He noticed the but of dried blood on Keith's nose from earlier, and shame engulfed his mind.

"A friend of mine owns this place, we used to train together. It's easier if you just go inside. That'll explain it better." Keith caught Lance looking at his nose. He instantly realized Lance's remorse. "Don't feel bad. you just need to let out your anger. You were mad. It happens to the best of us. What's a little blood right?"

Before Lance could continue to atone for his doings Keith cut him off with a brief kiss. He smiled and unbuckled Lance's seatbelt and the two walked into the building.

Lance followed Keith up a series of stairs since the elevator was marked as 'out of order'. Each flight of stairs they went up, Lance saw more and more awards, trophies, and certificates. 

"Junior national championships 2008"

"Keith Kogane, Youngest Junior Champion of the decade"

"Mathematics Holt, new record set"

Lance noticed that none of the awards had really ever mentioned what they were for. All of them just said what the ranking was. Until they went two floors up, and he had realized that whoever hung those up covered some of the words.

"Young Keith Kogane breaks world Judo championship record after 8 years of training"

"Matt Holt and Keith Kogane, the 'Fight Brothers' set martial arts records"

"You trained to fight?" Lance asked Keith astonished.

"Heh, yea. Shiro figured I might as well let out my anger somehow. He noticed I was getting in a lot of fights at school and shit, so he decided to put me in this fancy program, and my old buddy Matt decided to continue on. He runs this whole place on his own. It's a boxing place mostly, but they train for all types of fighting." Keith said this casually, then realized that it was a big deal to Lance, and blushed.

"AND YOU DIDN'T BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF CORAN?!" Lance said irritated.

"IT WAS A STRESSFUL SITUATION!!" Keith defended.

The two made amends and finally reached their floor. The walls were entirely glass, except metallic dragon handles on the double doors. The floors were completely lined with mats that looked as if they were custom made, they had dragons and beautiful embroidery of flowers and oriental patterns sewn into them, all topped with a glossy sheen. There were no rooms on the journey up the stairs, only office and conference rooms. This floor was filled with color, and rooms that were completely transparent. There were about 6 people per room, all drenched in sweat. Keith led Lance down a hallway until they reached a room with 3 men in it. One of the men recognized Keith and ran to give him a hug.

"Keith?! KEITH! HOW ARE YOU?? WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN YOU LITTLE BASTARD?" Who Lance would assume as Matt squeezed Keith in his arms.

"H-hey man. It's good to see you." Keith smiled.

The two made small talk for about 10 minutes and caught up. Finally, Lance was mentioned.

"This is my boyfriend, Lance." Keith grabbed Lance's hand and pulled him over to face Matt.

"Finally, I was wondering when you were gonna get laid. You're always so emo." Matt joked, laughing hysterically at his own joke until Lance started to chuckle as well, making Keith very red.

"H-hi, nice to meet you." Lance was very nervous around this man, he had no reason to be, but he was.

"I'm Mathematics, but everyone calls me Matt. Keith and I go way back." Matt said proudly.

"Mathematics??" Lance said.

"My dad thought it was funny, he goes way back with Shiro," Matt said.

"Matt is Pidge's older brother. Their dad and Shiro are flight partners."

"Oh, nice." Lance felt out of place, but proud of their friendship.

"Listen, I wanted to know if you had any singles available for Lance. He's kind of bottled up, needs to let go." Keith got straight to the point.

"Yea, of course, bro I got you. You know where they are." Matt said without hesitation. "I have your old gym bag if you want" He added with a smirk.

"This should be fun." Keith smiled and led Lance away.

After Matt had retrieved Keith's bag, Lance followed Keith through a couple hallways until they reached a room that was labeled 'do not use without instruction from master'.

"I'm going in there?" Lance asked.

"Yep. We'll go over everything in a second, first, we're gonna go through my old shit." Keith smiled. 

They sat down on a bench in the locker room directly across from that hallway. 

"Here we go..." Keith opened the bag revealing many surprises.

Inside the bag, there were several cutouts from magazines including the front cover of men's sport's illustrated, cosmopolitan, and pre-teen pictures of Justin Beiber.

"Are you fucking serious?" Lance was screaming with laughter. "You kinky little shit...."

"Shut up Lance, I was a horny gay 13-year-old."

After that Keith started pulling out different black belts, each embroidered with different patterns and colors. then white robes with Keith's name sewn onto the tags.

"Shiro went through a 'tailor' phase." Keith chuckled.

"Cute." Lance smiled softly.

After going through all of the first place ribbons, old used gauze pads, and other young gay objects in the duffle bag, Keith laid out a uniform for Lance to put on, and once Lance had put them on, Keith helped him tie the belt properly.

"These aren't as small as I would have thought." Keith smiled and bit his lip. "You look sexier than I would have thought."

Lance looked at Keith's eyes, and then at his lips, and then at his eyes, and then pulled him in for a kiss gripping Keith's waist tightly in his palms.

"Sexy, huh?" Lance flirted.

Keith blushed and looked away.

"So when you go in, there's going to be a control panel, select easy mode and be prepared for the punching bag to like swing around and hit you. the object of the simulator is to over power it, As long as you stay on easy you should be done in about an hour." If you have any trouble just call me Matt and I should be near catching up."

Lance entered the room, leaving the door open as he leaned out looking at Keith.

"Thank you, you have no idea how much you mean to me," Lance held Keith's face in his hands and kissed him. "Thank you." He whispered.

Keith smiled and walked away.

As Lance entered the simulator he selected the easy dial on the side of the door, and as he closed the door, he realized the dial was on the other side and he couldn't move it back to easy. It was set on the professional level. There was a corresponding chart showing the difficulty, the Professional level had a specific warning against the use of untrained students. 'WARNING: This simulator can cause serious harm to those who use it without the proper training. DO NOT USE PROFESIONAL LEVEL UNLESS UNDER EXPLICIT SUPERVISION FROM @OR MORE TRAINED MASTERS!

At this point, Lance was having a panic attack, but swallowed his pride and decided that it would be worth it if he beat it. 

Approximately 5 minutes and one punch later, Lance had taken a direct hit to the neck and had passed out. An hour after Keith had come to check on him, and to his shock found Lance passed out on the floor bleeding with tear stains on his cheeks.

"LANCE! LANCE AER YOU OKAY?!?" Keith yelled over and over.

After about 20 minutes Lance had finally responded.

"Keith? The door locked, it was set on the wrong thing." Lance said barely able to speak.

"Matt is calling an ambulance, we're looking for a phone." Keith started to cry.

"Don't call anyone. If my mom finds out. Please. I know a guy." Lance pleaded, crying.

"No way in fucking hell bro, you need to get to a hospital man, you're jacked up badly," Matt said.

"Matt, trust me. He's being serious. I know he has a good reason." Keith said, wiping his tears.

As Keith carried Lance into the car, he thanked Matt.

"I hope we can see each other soon. Maybe then your sister won't be my only friend. You gotta move back home buddy." Keith smiled.

"Good to see you, brother." Matt hugged Keith as soon as he got Lance in the car. "I'll see you soon."

Keith played all of Lance's favorite music on the ride home. He carried lance up to his room along with a pack of ice in an ice baggy. He laid him down and surrounded him with pillows for support.

"I'm sorry." Keith said, tears running down his face, "This always happens to the people I need in my life."

"You need me?" Lance said, his voice cracking.

"I guess so," Keith smiled, crying.

Lance's eyes glistened as he struggled to grab Keith's neck with his hand. He slowly brought him closer up to his lips and planted a kiss on Keith's forehead.

Keith smiled and then got back on track.

"I'm gonna have to undress you to see where you're hurt. Is that okay?" Keith asked.

"At least you're asking for permission." Lance chuckled.

"Wait for what?" Keith was confused.

"Nevermind, it was comedy." Lance laughed, then groaned grabbing his gut where he was also hit.

Keith disregarded what had just happened and carefully removed Lance's top and pants revealing not only spiderman boxers but also about a hundred bruises completely covering Lance's thighs and part of his stomach. 

"Those are old. The ones up here are what I just got." He pointed to his neck and stomach where the bruises were prominently redder. 

"What the fuck Lance. What are these?" Keith was tearing up for a different reason.

"Don't ask now. Please. Not when I'm in pain." Lance groaned.

Lance only had a couple cuts, no deep wounds. Keith put some medical balms and ointments on the area to soothe them. Allura had brought them a while ago for Keith's hand arthritis. He also gave Lance some painkillers that he had from when he had really bad pain earlier that year. The rest of the night Keith had made Lance some hot tea and Lance had fallen asleep on his chest.

Keith lay awake thinking of Lance's bruises and the joke he made earlier. What did he mean? Coul they be a disease? Or maybe someone didn't ask for permission. Finally, Keith fell asleep. When he woke up it was 4 pm the next day, and Lance was crying on the bathroom floor.

"Lance? What's wrong? Are you okay?" Keith rushed to the bathroom and shrunk down beside Lance, rubbing his shoulders in comfort. 

"We need to talk, but not like this." Lance started to get up, he was wearing his boxers and a T-shirt, Keith noticed horizontal scars aligned on Lance's thigh as he was getting up. He figured he would ask when they talked.

"Let's go make some food and then talk, okay?" Keith proposed.

"Okay." Lance wiped his tears.

Keith made a cup of tea for himself, and the two ate fruit loops in silence until Lance decided it was enough. 

"Yesterday I was kind of at a high because of the pain. I made that joke but it wasn't funny. I'm sorry." Lance looked down at his bowl of milk.

"You can tell me if anything like that ever happened to you.." Keith slowly looked up at Lance.

"When I was little my parents hired a babysitter for me named Barbara. I was 10 and she was 19. I had trouble sleeping then and I used to stay up until like 2 am every night because of my insomnia. My parents often went for business trips together because they owned a chain or restaurants with a larger company at the time." Lance's voice started to crack. He had put his spoon down at this point.

"Lance, you don't have to tell me if you're not ready." Keith moved closer to him and held his hand.

"I remember like 2 months after my parents had started leaving for weekends, Barbara had brought over one of her friends to help her clean up. Her name was Honvera. I remember sitting on the couch wrapped in a blanket trying to sleep while watching a documentary. And they both sat on each side of me. I remember them both grabbing my thighs and squeezing. They pulled my pants off, and I'm assuming she put something in my warm milk because I started to pass out." Lance was staring at his bowl and he started to cry. Keith held his hand tighter and started to tear up as well. "They told me there was something wrong with my penis and they were trying to fix it. They told me that if I told my parents I would never be healed. Barbara did this once a week for 2 years until my parents sold the chain and invested in different places. almost every night since I was 12 years old and Barbara had left I've woken up in the middle of the night and started squeezing my thighs as hard as I can. I can't even control it. It's like I'm not even thinking during it. Every relationship I've ever had has ended with me getting flashbacks and not being able to do anything. Every relationship I've gone months without any sexual contact because the minute I try I start to feel like I'm suffocating. That went on for a while and then I kind of got over it, but I still can't do much without physical pain from memories." Lance was now full on sobbing in Keith's arms, his face against his chest.

"I don't know how to make this better. So I'll tell you something nobody knows about me." Keith paused for a couple minutes to hold Lance, then he resumed, " When I first moved in with Shiro, he was gay. He had a boyfriend named Adam. I guess that changed when he met Allura, but for then he had Adam. They were dating for about 3 years prior to me moving in. The reason they broke up was that Adam wasn't okay with Shiro just adopting a kid. At the time I was really young and didn't understand what was happening. When I turned 15 I started to realize that Shiro lost the love of his life because he decided to take me. I got really mad at myself and started stealing the painkillers that he had for his muscle problem. I also started stealing his tool boxes and the razors inside of them." Keith held out his arm to reveal small mostly faded scars on his upper forearm. "I started to develope arthritis because of the nerves I was hitting. Doctors had no clue why because I was so good at hiding them, until one day Shiro came to talk to me about something on the news and I had just gotten out of the shower. He saw me and started crying. He showed me scars that he had too and explained to me that I'm not alone and it's not my fault. I know what it's like to have something really scary bottled up. Lance, You are not alone."

Lance looked up with tears in his eyes. "I appreciate you telling me, but how are those rela-"

"- If that's not enough, the mom at one of my group homes once locked me and this other kid in a room. I remember his name, James. We were running outside and playing tag. He was the first boy I ever liked. I realized with him that I was gay. She called us satan lovers and locked us in a room with nothing but a bible, and prayers playing on a cassette tape for 5 hours until the father got home. I remember telling James it was going to be okay. The father came in and told us he was going to show us 'what we were deciding to do' and what Satan was going to do to us. The mom came in and put me in a closet while she held the boy down on a table. He raped him. Right in front of me. Right in front of the bible. He repeated over and over again that this was God's will. He said it was God's will to show him how wrong it was. Next, the woman took me out of the closet and tried to put me on the table but I fought back struggling. I ran away and called the cops." Keith's voice got low during the last part.

"You still think about it?" Lance asked. Keith shed a tear then continued.

"I went back for the boy, but he was paralyzed from the pressure and died of shock. The man jumped on me choking me. He kept yelling at me 'WHAT DID YOU DO BOY' he wouldn't stop. 'WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO FAGGOT'. That's why I woke up screaming. He killed my best friend. I can't even think about it anymore. All I think about is him jumping on me." Keith looked into Lance's eyes. "I'm sorry you had to go through that. You aren't alone."

Lance wasn't done talking. "You probably saw my scars?" Keith nodded. "One of the few girls I was ever intimate with after Barbara was my girlfriend Axca. She was really depressed, so I told her if she ever wanted to hurt herself, she should just hurt me. I figured out pretty quick that if she was willing to hurt me then she wasn't the right girl. She ended up getting help."

After talking for longer they had migrated to Keith's room. A sleep-deprived Keith wrapped his limbs around Lance and the two slept peacefully now that things had been cleared up and they had no more secrets. Or so they thought.


	6. I love you for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y'all better hold ur weaves this is i n t e n s e

**Ya might need google translate if you don't speak Spanish**

 

July 27th, 5:35 AM

Lance sprung awake to the sound of his phone ringing. He jumped to answer shortly followed by Keith.

"H-hello? Mama?" Lance answered with a tired tone.

Keith could just barely make out what Lance's mother was saying.

"Lance, why aren't you with Hunk?" She said in partially broken English. "They are all saying you are with some boy? Where are you Mijo?"

"I-i'm with a friend Mama, Hunk's friend tried to hurt me so I went with an old friend," Lance said. "I'm sorry for not telling you, I just was scare-"

"-Lance. Are you safe?" She said, her voice slightly breaking.

"Yes, Mama. I'm fine. Keith is taking good care of me." Lance said. Keith could tell he was not going to mention him as more than a friend.

"Let me talk to him." She said firmly.

"Mama, he can't speak Spanish." Lance pleaded.

"Yo soy tú madre. me obedeces." She said, not willing to argue.

"Okay, Mama." Lance handed the phone to Keith, mouthing words that Keith didn't recognize but understood as 'don't do anything dumb'.

"H-hello?" Keith muttered. "Mrs. McClain?" 

"Hello, Keith! Thank you for keeping my son with you."

"No problem, It's my pleasure. Lance is a pretty good guy, you're lucky to have him as your son." Keith's voice, along with the rest of his body, was shaking.

"And you just friend right?" Mrs. McClain subtly imposed a threat onto Keith.

Lance looked at Keith, eyes wide. He couldn't hear the conversation. Keith swallowed and responded.

"O-of c-course. T-that would be d-disgusting." Keith was sweating.

"You are right Keith. Thank you again and we will discuss more when we return from Cuba. May I talk to my son now?" She spoke in a weird tone that made Keith wonder if she could detect his lies. Keith handed Lance the phone, still shaking.

"H-hi Mama." Lance started shaking too, he grabbed Keith's hand.

"Me duele más a mí que a ti Lance." She said softly. " Me duele más a mí que a ti. Mientras viva en esta casa, seguirá mis reglas. Debe detener este comportamiento vergonzoso. No es tu corazón, sino tu ignorancia. I can read right through him Lance."

"Mama, I swear-"

"-Save it, Lance. I cannot believe you are my son. I will call Hunk's parents and have them come and pick you up. What address are you staying at?" 

Keith could tell what had just happened. But suddenly the tone changed, and Lance stopped sagging his head and picked it back up.

"Mama. There is nothing you can ever do to change who I am. I am in love with Keith, and I'm sorry if that hurts you. I am not leaving this house if it means you'll get your way. I am your son whether you like it or not, and I will not continue to be tormented by you all." Lance shed a tear but kept going until Abuella got on the phone.

"Quién crees que eres. Nunca preguntas a tu madre. Qué verguenza. Ya no eres parte de esta familia." Abuella spoke with a heavy accent. Her voice raspy and old.

Keith heard Lance's mom in the background pleading her to stop.

"Mamá, no, por favor, él es mi hijo." She yelled.

Lance didn't respond. He just put down the phone. Not hanging up, but listening to the screaming voices coming through the speaker.

Keith, offended and hurt, decided to step up for Lance.

"I took Spanish for a couple of years, but I'm not that good." He held Lance's hand and took the phone.

"Hola, lamento que pueda estar faltándole el respeto a su posición. Mi nombre es Keith Kogane. Lance se quedará en mi casa hasta que regrese. Quiero que le haga saber que estoy enamorado de su hijo, y si no se sentirá orgulloso de él por lo que es, entonces tengo una familia que lo apreciará con respeto y amor. La vergüenza no debería ser puesta en Lance, sino en ti. Es una pena que no hayas nutrido a tu hijo con todo lo que tienes que ofrecer en el mundo. Puede que no te veas cara a cara, pero él es familia, y de donde vengo, nunca dejamos a la familia atrás sin importar por lo que peleemos." Keith's spanish was raspy, and much without accent. However is definately reached the McClains, as there was a hush on teh other side of the phone. Keith hung up, and held Lance.

After Lance's tears were gone, Keith got up and grabbed his phone.

"I am not talking to them again," Lance said.

"I'm calling Shiro," Keith said, sitting down on the bed next to Lance, and covering the two of them with a blanket. Keith called Shiro and within 8 seconds they got an answer.

"Hey Keith, what are you up to?" Shiro said in a sing-song voice, hinting at Lance.

"Lance's family hates him right now for being bisexual. Talk to him." Keith said, trying not to say anything harmful to Lance.

"O-ok?"

Keith handed Lance the phone and notified him that he was going to go make food.

"Hey, Lance. How are you?" Shiro said comfortingly.

"I-i'm decent."

"I'm going to tell you a story, and I want you to pay close attention to me."

"Okay."

"When I was young, I liked to play with toy cars and monster trucks. But I also liked to play with Barbies. I got picked on a lot by other kids because I wasn't the same as them."

"I'm sorry, but what does this have to do with anythin-"

"-Just, listen."

"Okay. Sorry."

"I realized at around 6 or 7 that I liked boys. I never really cared for girls, it was very rare at least. It was a struggle telling my parents. I was kicked out at 15, and I had to grow up without them. But trust me, Lance, give them time, they'll come through for you. My mom is my best friend now, I talk to her every day." Shiro chuckled at the end.

"Thank you. And, you did a good job raising Keith." Lance said, smiling.

"I'm afraid I can't take credit for that, he already came raised. I just helped shape him up better. You know Keith sounded much happier the last time I talked to him. He hasn't been that way in a long time." Shiro said.

"I love him. So much. And I hope you're okay with that." Lance smiled.

"I'm happy that you're together. Remember, I may not know you, but I know that I trust you. You always have us to come to." Shiro said solemnly.

After about 10 minutes of Shiro explaining to Lance why he is not at fault, the conversation came to a close.

"Thank you, sir," Lance said.

"Call me Shiro."

"Okay."

"I'll talk to you later kid. Stay safe."

"I will."

After some time to himself, Lance came downstairs to find Keith sitting on the counter, eating ice cream using an oreo as a spoon. Keef was on the counter as well, licking the small droplets of ice cream Keith had given him.

"Keith, This isn't a breakfast." Lance chuckled and moved closer. Keith leaned into Lance's ear and started whispering.

"What were you two talking about?" Keith asked seductively.

"I had a feeling you were listening." Lance flirted.

"Maybe I heard a little." Keith leaned in closer, his mouth almost touching Lance's ear.

"I love you too." He pulled away, smiled, and kissed Lance. The two smiled.

"You taste like oreo." Lance joked. He opened the fridge and pulled out several different ingredients to make food. "Pancakes."

"You do that, I'll go take a shower." Keith smiled and slipped out of the kitchen.

Lance pet Keef and gave him some food.

Keith went upstairs to clean up, then proceeded to shower. Meanwhile, Lance made pancakes and hot chocolate.

After 45 minutes of waiting, Lance started to get impatient. 

"Keith? Are you okay?" Lance started up the stairs. He heard a faint weeping coming from the bathroom and echoing through the walls. "KEITH!? KEITH!"

Lance almost tripped down the staircase from trying to run up to Keith. He rushed to the bathroom where he saw Keith drenched on the bathroom floor in a towel sobbing. Lance crouched down beside him and held him.

"Hey. Are you okay?" Lance asked, his voice was raspy.

"Um," Keith was choking back tears. "you remember how we were talking earlier about our pasts?"

"Yeah?" Lance grabbed Keith's hand.

"I just remembered something from that night, and I don't know, it's stupid. I haven't thought about it in a while." Keith wiped his tears, which wasn't very helpful because the water dripping from his hair just re-wet the spot he had wiped.

"Hey, it's not stupid. It's okay. I'm here." Lance smiled and hugged Keith.

Shortly after They both stood up and apparently had forgotten Keith was only wearing a towel which had come off when he stood up. 

"Oh shit sorry." Keith laughed

"HOLY SHIT I DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING OH MY GOD SANTA FOLLADA MIERDA OH MI DIOS FOLLADO!!" Lance blushed and ran downstairs while screaming in Spanish, pretending he hadn't seen anything. 

"Really a confidence booster Lance!" Keith laughed and got dressed.

After they ate and Keith joked relentlessly about how he 'broke' Lances bisexuality, the two went upstairs.

 

July 27th, 10:45 PM

"Do you want to go to the space center?" Keith asked. 

"Um, sure," Lance said, getting up out of bed.

Keith collected his sketchbook and headphones, and the two got dressed to leave.

"I think it's only fitting that you carry me on your back." Lance proposed.

"You are so spoiled aren't you?" Keith said, lifting Lance onto his back.

"Huh, look at that. Scorpius. You can see it even though it's cloudy." Lance said, gripping Keith's chest while he gazed up. "It's beautiful."

"You're beautiful." Keith turned his head and stopped walking.

"You sly little asshole. I love you." Lance blushed.

Keith laughed and started walking again. About ten minutes later they reached the center.

"11:11, make a wish," Lance said as the two lay on the grass. 

"I wish, whatever happens, we always come back to this point together. Just here, under the stars. Together." Keith looked at Lance and pulled out his phone to take a picture of Lance under the light of the moon.

"You smooth bastard. I wish no matter what happens to me or us, you find happiness. Just as you deserve it." Lance smiled and grabbed Keith's phone only to cut Keith's reply off with a kiss.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU FAGS DOING?" 

Keith and Lance both stood up only to see Coran and his friends standing on the street looking at them.

"Leave us alone Coran. Just go home you're drunk." Keith shouted.

"If you want me to leave, make me you little pussy," Coran yelled violently, rolling up his sleeves.

"Come on Lance, let's go." Keith grabbed Lance's hand and pulled him onto the sidewalk. 

"Aw, is your little boyfriend gonna protect you? You two fags gonna go suck each other?" Coran was very obviously drunk by the way he belched out his words, and by the 45-degree angle, he was standing at.

"Shut the fuck up," Lance said, following Keith away.

"Hey I'M TALKING TO YOU!" Coran ran up to Lance and grabbed his hood.

Keith quickly turned around and punched Coran to the ground.

"Leave him the fuck alone," Keith yelled before repetitively punching Coran's head into the pavement. Coran's friends all backed away and started running.

"Keith, stop." Lance reasoned. "JUST FUCKING STOP KEITH!"

Coran got on top of Keith and started bashing his head on the ground, but then Keith somehow managed to shove Coran over and twist his arm enough to push him down and then started to beat him even more.

"KEITH PLEASE, WHAT THE FUCK?" Lance was begging, screaming for Keith to stop.

Keith wouldn't stop. His hands very quickly were covered in blood. Lance had to pry him off of Coran just to get him out of the loop.

"I-i'm I'm sorry." Keith broke down crying.

"You'll fucking pay for this." Coran ran away into one of the neighborhood streets and nearly collapsed onto the street.

Lance walked Keith home on his back. He took a different route in case they were being followed. The walk was long and tedious.

"Why does this always happen to us?" Keith asked, sniffling away his tears.

"Because that's what happens when you're a queer in the middle of Texas," Lance said making it clear he was exhausted and drained from yelling and carrying Keith.

"You, know. Your family is really fucked up. A bunch of assholes really." Keith laughed. "If you could live with me we would be much happier. You wouldn't have to think about any of them." Keith rambled.

"I have to face them, Keith," Lance said.

"I know, but it's nice to indulge in fantasies once in a while. Plus, I would do anything to wake up to your face every morning." Keith smiled, kissing Lance's neck.

"I doubt Shiro would let us sleep together." Lance chuckled.

"Are you kidding me? If I even think about a boy he starts lecturing me about safe sex and STD's. I'll never hear the end of it from him I swear." Keith groaned.

"Woah there, slow down. It's only been a week." Lance joked. "If it got to that point I'd probably get flashbacks and freak out."

"I mean, have you tried?" Keith asked.

"No. But-"

"-Wait. You're a virgin?" Keith asked surprised.

"Well, technically yes but-" Lance stopped. "Wait. You're not?"

"Hey. I've gotten around nicely in my day." Keith turned red, which lance noticed without even having to look.

"You gay little slut." Lance joked.

"Shut up, prude." Keith grabbed Lance's waist harder, pulling his shirt. 

"What does it feel like?" Lance asked curiously.

"Wait didn't you-"

"-I was really young when it happened. My dick didn't even work back then." Lance rolled his eyes.

"I don't know. Weird at first?" Keith scoffed uncomfortably.

"I haven't had someone to talk to in a long time. Sorry." Lance said.

"It's okay. Me neither. It gets tiring being alone. All I used to do was rely on my dreams to make me feel loved. I used to wish and pray that I could just have someone. Everyone I've ever loved had either left me or, or has died. Everyone except Shiro and Allura. Hopefully you too." Keith laid his head on Lance's shoulder and planted small kisses on his neck.

"My family has ignored me for the past 2 years. I've been relying on first dates and parties to keep my sanity and keep me from lashing out badly." Lance looked down.

"Thank goodness we found each other." Keith smiled and gave Lance more kisses.

"7/11?" Lance asked. "We're almost at your house. If you want I can drive." 

"Sure. Let me get cleaned up first." Keith said.

When they arrived at Keith's house, Keith washed his face and changed his bloody shirt.

"Usually I'm the injured one. Not you." Lance came behind Keith in the mirror and grabbed his waist. "I like it better when you aren't wearing a shirt." Lance buried his face into Keith's shoulder, planting kisses.

"Is it weird that I prefer you in a hoodie?" Keith asked. He turned around and propped himself onto the counter, Lance standing between his legs. "It's more snuggly. But I have to admit, your skin is so smooth and warm, you're just so warm all the time, I'm always so cold."

"Oh my god, you smell like flowers." Lance buried his face even deeper into Keith's shoulder. "I was going to say, either a sweater or nothing at all." Lance flirted.

"I'm taking that more seriously than I usually would considering you've seen me completely naked." Keith smiled and kissed Lance.

Lance's fingers traced down Keith's hip.

"Wait, what is that?" Lance directed Keith to a curved scar that looked as if it was stitched by a doctor.

"I-I um. a year ago I tried to kill myself. Too many pills, they had to do an emergency surgery to remove half my liver. I didn't have anything strong, just Tylenol." Keith moved Lance's hand to his thigh.

"Oh. Do you mind me asking wh-"

"My best friend died. car accident." Keith said. "I don't want to think about that right now."

"Okay," Lance replied. He grabbed Keith's thighs from under and picked him up, carrying him to the bed but not breaking the kiss.

"Mmm, Slurpees," Keith mumbled as Lance laid him down and started to undo his pants.

Lance kissed him even more passionately.

"Never m-mind." Keith started to pull off Lance's shirt, then his pants. "Are you okay with this?" Keith asked Lance.

"Yes," Lance replied, pulling Keith's hair through his fingers.

"Condoms" Keith could barely speak because every time he tried Lance cut him off. "Top mm drawer."

 

July 28th, 10:45 AM

Keith was wearing Lance's oversized T-shirt. Lance was sitting on the sofa reading a comic book.

"Good morning pretty boy," Lance said.

"W-what time is it?" Keith mumbled, falling out of bed while slowly piecing together last night. "Did we?"

"Yep." Lance smiled, flipping through his Spiderman comic. "I was waiting for you to sleep before I did. I wanted to make sure you rested after yesterday.

"Me, rest? You're the one who was-"

"You sound hungover. Probably because you were so punchy fisty with Coran last night." Lance laughed and leaned over to Keith to give him a kiss. 

"Come sleep." Keith made room for Lance, and the two slept until Keith was ready to get up.

Keith started downstairs, being careful not to wake Lance. He quickly dialed Allura's phone number.

"Hey 'Lura, I know you just got back with your parents from Dallas, but is there any way you could help me bake a cake?"

"Well well, Shiro told me about your little boyfriend. Could this be for him?" She asked hintingly.

"Yes. It's his birthday. Please tell me you can come." He said, rushing. "We only have like 8 hours until he wakes up."

"Alright. I'll be over in about an hour. start cleaning the stuff you'll need."

"Um... Didn't Shiro tell you? He didn't know how to wash the kitchen stuff you gave us and they got all rusted and moldy so we threw them out." Keith said nervously.

"I SWEAR TO GOD TAKASHI. It's not your fault dear. I'll be over with all the stuff. But first I'm going to give that man a lecture. Those pans were expensive!" Allura hung up.

While waiting, Keith went upstairs and cuddled the sleeping Lance. He traced the freckles on Lance's back with his finger, and the dimples in his shoulder blades. He ran his fingers through Lance's hair, noticing how not one spec of dandruff was visible. He was perfect to Keith. He was pure and beautiful, and Keith knew in his heart that he was going to love Lance for a very long time. Keith spent the next hour and a half getting to know the features of Lance's body. The way his skin was never oily, yet it was still perfectly moisturized. His hands were soft and delicate, yet strong and masculine. He smelled nice, like candy, and his nose was so perfectly beautiful. It was perfectly arched and positioned just right on his face. His lips were plump and red and brought out his blue-green eyes when he was awake. His hair in contrast with his lips was one of the most wonderful things about him. his eyelashes were beautiful and a blend of golds and browns to make the perfect curve. Keith thought about how amazing he felt in such a little time. What was supposed to be just Keith helping someone hurt, turned into the best week of his life? The way Lance spontaneously spoke and decided just to kiss him in spite of the store clerk at 7/11. The way he pushed Lance into the bin of clearance DVD's in the middle of Walmart, yet Lance still smiled like an angel. The way Lance flirted with him over everything, Scrabble, cooking, he was so sweet and funny. Keith kissed Lance's cheek and let out a tear of joy, knowing that Lance was his, and he would never have to be alone again. Lance turned and put his hand on Keith's chest. He leaned over and kissed him sweetly.

"I love you." Lance smiled.

Keith let out a tear. "I love you too." His voice was slightly broken.

"Hey. What's wrong?" Lance leaned on his elbow to prop himself up, his hand stroking Keith's chest.

"Nothing. I'm just happy with you here." Keith smiled and rested his hand on the side of Lance's face. Lance leaned his face over and held Keith's hand before laying back down and wrapping Keith's arms around him.

About 10 minutes later, Keith got up to answer the door for Allura.

"Hey, Handsome. How are you, honey?" Allura gave Keith a giant kiss on the forehead and squeezed him into a hug.

"I'm good 'Lura. So how do we start."

Roughly 3 hours later the two were waiting for the cake to bake in the over. They were cleaning up. Well, Allura was cleaning up. Keith was licking the spoon, Keef was helping.

"How long have you two been together?" Allura asked.

"You won't believe me. But a week. I guess we've just been spending so much time together that it feels like longer." Keith smiled while talking about Lance.

"You know, Takashi told me he loved me after 2 months. I said it was about damn time. Good for you." Allura laughed.

"I love him. I've never felt this way about anyone before." Keith's face lit up. "He's the most beautiful person I've ever seen in my life. I can't wait for you to meet him."

"It's a shame I won't see his reaction." Allura finished up the last bowl, then sat up on the counter with Keith and picked up Keef.

"Don't be silly. Stay for cake." Keith said.

"I suppose I could stay for a little bit." Allura smiled. I'm happy you two are together." 

The two frosted and finished the cake, then Keith went upstairs and made Lance look presentable before taking him downstairs.

"Lance, this is Allura. Allura, meet my boyfriend Lance." Keith smiled.

"Can I look now?" Lance asked, peeling off the sleep mask from his eyes. "Oh, hi! I'm Lance. Nice to meet you."

"Wow Keith, you weren't kidding." Allura smiled and reached her hand out, which Lance shook.

"What? Did he tell you I was ugly? Is that what's happening?" Lance looked concerned.

Keith shut the two up from rambling by presenting Lance a cake.

"Happy Birthday!" Keith smiled. "I know it's not all proper with candles and stuff, but it's the best we got.

Lance looked at the cake, eyes tearing. It said "Happy Birthday Lance" in blue ink. The base was light blue and there was a lighter with the handle taped so it would stay lit up sticking out of the center.

"T-thank you." Lance's jaw finally closed and he shed a tear. 

They cut the cake after singing 'Happy Birthday', and Lance came to find that it was chocolate marble, his favorite. Keith put a bit of frosting on Lance's nose and said it was a tradition. Allura snapped a picture of the two. After cake, they all lounged in the living room.

Lance was sitting with Keith's arms wrapped around his stomach. Allura was sitting on the adjacent couch and they were all eating popcorn and watching a movie.

"If I was straight I'd probably marry Dolly Parton." Keith chuckled.

"Hey! I'm right here jerk." Lance turned and play hit Keith.

"You two are so adorable. I don't get this movie. Why didn't they just leave him in the hospital? What's the point of taking him back to his house and torturing the poor guy?" Allura asked, confused.

"Better movie I guess. After all, they work all day with this douchebag and don't get any appreciation." Keith added.

Allura's phone rang, it was Shiro.

"Hey, honey. How are you?" Allura smiled while talking to Shiro. Lance admired their relationship. He thought about Keith getting excited whenever Lance calls him in the near future, he could see himself with Keith. 

"Oh nothing, I got home from with my parents last night. Keith called me over to help bake a cake for Lonce." Allura said eyeing the two.

"I love how she says Lonce instead of Lance," Keith whispered in Lance's ear.

"Stop being mean Keith, it's just how she talks." Lance laid his head down on Keith's chest and the two held hands.

"Oh yes, we're watching '9 to 5'. Yes, the one with Dolly Parton. SHIRO I AM YOUR GIRLFRIEND!" Allura hissed.

"I bet he said the same thing you did," Lance whispered to Keith.

Keith opened up his tablet which was promptly laying on the coffee table in case there would be a moment like this and started to doodle.

"It's cute. What is it." Lance asked.

"I don't know. What does it look like?" Keith replied.

"It kind of looks like a squiggly 'I'," Lance said. "I. Lo-ve. Yo-u."

"I love you too." Keith smiled.

"Why do you flirt like this?" Lance wrestled the tablet out of Keith's hands and then proceeded to play fight with Keith.

"Wait, What's that?" Lance asked, pointing to a bruise on Keith's collarbone.

"Aren't you going to claim your territory?" Keith smiled.

Lance gave Keith a blank stare. 

"It's a hickey, Lance. You gave me a hickey." Keith laughed.

"How do I not remember doing that?" Lance blushed.

"You also pulled my hair non-stop. Thanks." Keith smiled, walking the empty popcorn bowl into the kitchen as Allura stepped outside onto the porch.

"What? I'm sorry." Lance looked worried.

"No, it's fine. I kinda liked it." Keith said. "You really are a kinky little shit." 

"Shut up Keith," Lance said, sitting up onto the counter. "Thank you for making me the cake. I haven't really had a birthday in a long time."

"I don't understand why they can't just accept it." Keith walked over to Lance and held his waist.

"I guess they just are really used to the old way of doing things. I know they love me. It's just hard." Lance held Keith's forearms and leaned in for a kiss.

"I want you to know I love you for you. No matter what." Keith smiled.

"I love you too." Lance held Keith's hands. 

"We should go get Slurpees with Allura later. It's getting close to dinner time too. This time actually get them." Keith smiled and took Lance down from the counter, holding him gently.


	7. What Goes Up...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF RAPE AND ABUSE. STRONG LANGUAGE AND DISCUSSION ORF SUICIDE...

July 28th, 7:30 PM

After Allura got off of her one-hour phone call with Shiro, Keith and Lance realized that they weren't dressed and headed upstairs to prepare to leave.

"Hey, can I talk to you real quick?" Lance sat down on the bay window, as he pulled on a new shirt.

"Sure, what's up?" Keith sat down facing him, his legs crisscrossed. 

"I stayed up last night because I had a panic attack. I didn't want to wake you up because you were so happy and I-"

"-Lance." Keith put his hands over his face and sulked into his crossed legs. "D-did I do something? Did I hurt you? I'm sorry."

"No. It's not your fault I just didn't know what to do. You were perfect. It was perfect. I just couldn't deal with the adrenaline and all of the pressure and. I'm sorry Keith." Lance wiped his tears and sniffled, barely keeping eye contact with Keith.

"Were there flashbacks or something?" Keith was rubbing lances shoulder softly, and holding one of his hands. "Is that why you didn't sleep next to me? Lance. Did I hurt you?" Keith's face was flushed in horror.

"You didn't do anything. It's my fault. I'm always going to be the problem. I'm a burden. I can't even have sex without being a burden." Lance started to sob when Allura heard the tears and started up the stairs.

"What's going on? Lonce? Honey, what's wrong?" Allura bent down in front of Lance and wiped his tears with a tissue.

"He's just-" Keith couldn't come up with an excuse.

"-I'm just really happy to feel like I have a family. Thank you for the cake." Lance turned to Keith, giving him a look that read 'go with it'. Keith wanted to cry. 

"Sweetheart! You always are welcome here. Now you two finish getting dressed and stop crying okay?" Allura noticed that Keith was starting to cry, and knew that they weren't telling her something. Ultimately she decided that when the time came she would find out. 

Allura went downstairs and packed her materials in the car while she waited.

"Don't ever call yourself a burden." Keith's tone was serious. He held Lance's hands and made direct eye contact, trying desperately not to cry with Lance. "Never. Ever. Use that word. Promise me." Keith's voice cracked and tears started to form in his eyes.

"I am." Lance broke away and held his face in his lap. "I'm a fuck up. I'm a fucking problem. Not even my own mother cares. I can't do anything right, I can't make you happy. I intruded on your life, Keith. I came into your home and ruined everything. What's gonna happen when my family gets back? What about then? They're never gonna let me see you. My dad is shamed as it is to admit I'm his son. What goes up must come down. Whatever goes right in my life comes crashing down because that's just what I do to people."

"LANCE WOULD YOU SHUT UP AND LOOK AROUND YOU?!" Keith grabbed Lance's hands away from his face. "I LO-ve you. I love you. I love you. Do they all really matter if you're here with me? You coming here has changed me and you don't even understand the half of it. I was going to kill myself. Did you know that? I planned on waiting until Shiro checked in on me and after his first call I was going to do it. I don't have anything to live for. I disappoint everyone, Lance. You had a panic attack because of me. You had flashbacks because of me. Without you, I would be dead right now. I told you not to go in the bottom drawer the first day. You know why?" Keith was crying so hard he couldn't move. Thankfully Allura couldn't hear them. She had fallen asleep in the car. Keith got up and opened the bottom drawer of his dresser. "Do you see this?" He pointed to a box, then spilled out the contents which were hundreds of razor blades and pills condensed into bags and pouches. Keith collapsed onto the floor and sobbed, even more, his whole body trembling. "I love you. You don't understand how much I love you. You're the only good thing that's happened to me in years. I don't talk to anyone. I live my life in silence. There was nothing before you. Lance, I need you." 

Lance said nothing. He was shaking with fear and remorse. He got up, still shaking, and sunk down next to Keith, reaching out his hand and pulling Keith in closer until the two of them had no space between them. 

"I'm sorry," Lance whispered, his voice cracking and shaking. "I'm so sorry," now Lance was crying. "I love you." Lance kissed Keith's cold, wet cheek, and brought Keith up to sit on the bed. Lance then picked up all of the tiny blades and pills from the floor and put the whole box into a garbage bag before running outside to put it in the trash can. When he returned Keith was ready to go, waiting in the same spot. Lance sat down next to him and held both of Keith's hands together. 

"I'm sorry." Keith put his head on Lance's chest, whispering. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. Don't be sorry, I'm here." Lance held Keith in that position, before leading Keith to the bathroom to wash his tear-stained face.

"Let's not do that again." Lance looked at Keith while dabbing Keith's face with a warm soaked towel. "I don't like fighting. Or seeing you like this."

"Agreed," Keith whispered while holding Lance's hand where it was, caressing his cheek.

"We both need to agree to see someone. You need to tell me if you ever feel like you shouldn't live. You always should. Promise me." Lance looked up at Keith, holding his thigh.

"I promise." Keith forced a smile.

"Don't give me any bullshit Keith. I know you." Lance said, not making eye contact.

"I don't know what you want me to say, I'm always like that. Maybe not always, but when I'm alone." Keith looked down, Lance pushed his chin up with his hand.

"Well then. You'll never be alone." Lance looked at Keith, then his lips, then Keith. They kissed softly.

"We're like an hour late, Allura probably fell asleep." Keith pulled away. "We need to go."

Lance quickly got dressed and rushed downstairs to meet Keith and Allura in the car.

"Took you two long enough. What were you talking about?" Allura glared at the two, both sitting in the back seat to prevent fighting for shotgun. 

"I got a call from my mom, she was checking up on me. Cuban moms never hang up." Lance chuckled. "Keith was being a good boyfriend and stayed to talk with her too."

Allura bought it.

"Lonce, birthday boy, what song?" Allura grinned.

"Oh, I like anything." Lance smiled.

Allura played a bunch of old 60s swing music and they all sang along, Keith and Lance holding hands in the back seat, and exchanging happy looks. Allura occasionally looked back at them and smiled warmly.

They finally reached their destination and entered the 7/11.

"Hey, what happened to that other clerk? The lady?" Keith asked the merchant once they had all gotten their Slurpees. 

"You mean Haggar? It was all over the news. She had a heart attack after a couple of gay boys came in and kissed on their way out. I didn't get to see the footage, it's in evidence. Poor kids, cops are saying she was harassing them." The merchant looked down while taking their order.

"S-sorry to hear that." Allura looked sad, Keith and Lance looked at each other nervously, then dropped it.

"Anyway, I'm Vrepit Sal, but everyone calls me Sal. Nice to meet you three." He smiled warmly.

They all bid goodbye and went off to the car.

"Told you that bitch had it coming," Lance whispered to Keith, trying not to die laughing.

"Lance! Don't joke about that stuff!" Keith burst out laughing, Lance followed.

"Oh, you two. Boys I swear." Allura scoffed as they pulled into the driveway.

"Thanks, Allura. What should we make for dinner?" Keith smiled.

"I'm sorry dear, I need to get going. I love you guys!" She smiled while pulling up her window. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY LONCE!" She pulled out of the driveway, waving and almost backing into the neighbor's trash cans.

"Well. What do you want to eat?" Keith asked Lance.

"We should just order pizza or something," Lance said while unlocking the front door and propping himself onto the counter. 

"I don't think our conversation is done. I blew up on you. I'm sorry. But My problems don't compare to your situation. Just tell me you'll never say that word again." Keith stood between Lance's legs, Holding his hands.

"Keith. To you, I may not be a b-" 

"-Lance, don't even say it. Okay? Fuck your family if they think you're one. Fuck whoever tells you that you're not enough. You are more than enough. They're just homophobic pieces of shit if they can't accept that you're happy the way you are. No more putting yourself down." Keith smiled and kissed Lance's forehead. "Okay?"

"Okay." Lance sighed, pressing his forehead to match Keith's. "What kind of pizza?" 

"Whatever you want." Keith sighed, stroking Lance's thighs with his hands.

"I want." Lance paused, Keith looked up at him not moving his hands. Lance took a deep breath. "I want to try again."

"Try?" Keith was confused.

"Just kiss me." Lance grabbed Keith's face and started to kiss him, and eventually, Keith picked Lance up and laid him down on his bed after slowly heading upstairs, not breaking the kiss.

"Lance. Are you sure this is a good ide-"

"-Yes, just do it I need to get over this." Lance pulled Keith back in for another kiss. Keith pinned Lance down, holding one of his thighs from under and he started to kiss Lance's neck, Lance started to breathe a little faster, Keith thought nothing of it and kept going. He started to push one of his hands up Lance's shirt, inching towards his chest from the side.

"Stop. STOP!" Lance immediately backed up against the headboard, pushing Keith off of him, and hyperventilated.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry. Did I do something?" Keith was freaking out, his voice cracking, he backed up and started to cry. 

"My. My thigh. The bruises. I'm sorry. I just couldn't stop. Thinking of her." Lance could barely speak from lack of breathing.

"Shit, I forgot. Take deep breaths." Keith crawled toward Lance and held his shoulder, trying to help him breathe normally. "I'm sorry Lance."

"One more time." Lance was breathing normally again, he moved closer to Keith and wrapped Keith's arms around his waist. The two kissed and Lance pulled Keith closer, moving one of Keith's hands up his shirt, and his other hand on his thigh.

"Lance. I don't know if this is-"

Lance cut Keith off with a kiss, Keith was now pinned down and shirtless, Lance kissing his chest and moving down to unbuckle his jeans. As soon as Lance had his shirt off he was on top of Keith and had Keith's hands pinned up with one of his. Lance's other hand was on Keith's chest, as Lance was kissing Keith's neck. He released Keith's hands which immediately wrapped around his waist and one on Lance's hand which was supporting him up. "I love you" Keith whispered into Lance's ear before Lance bit Keith's lip and pushed him back down. 

As Keith started to unbuckle Lance's pants, Lance started breathing heavily and got up.

"FUCK." Lance's voice cracked as he kicked the bed frame and fell to his knees. His breath was panicked and quick and he was clearly agitated. Keith hopped off of the bed beside him, trying to calm him down. "I FUCKING HATE MYSELF!" Lance was sobbing.

"It's not your fault Lance. We just can't rush into this. It takes time." Keith rubbed Lance's chest as Lance sat back onto the bed, leaning against the headboard.

"Does it take years Keith? What? Is it just going to ruin all of my fucking relationships and break me down every single time I try to do something for myself? I can't do this anymore. I can't deal with constantly being afraid when a girl flirts with me or when someone accidentally touches my thighs. I can't live like this Keith. I can't." Lance was head planted into Keith's bare chest, his voice was shaking and exhausted.

"I know you can't. I can't even look at a family without seeing abuse. I physically cannot imagine a picture perfect relationship between a father and his kids. It took me so long to accept Shiro as even an older brother figure. I'd known him for so long, but I still couldn't help but wonder. I guess that's why I never told him what really happened. He only knows that I saw the boy." Keith looked up at Lance, reassuring him that he wasn't alone.

"Shiro doesn't know?" Lance asked, worried.

"Neither do you," Keith admitted. "He didn't just scream in my face. The father had molested me for weeks before he did the boy. He would have me touch him, and he did more things to me." Keith started to cry. "It took years t- to just stop thinking about it. Whenever an old man comes near me I prepare myself to run or fight or do anything to get away. I remember my first time having sex since. I was 15, and I couldn't breathe. The poor kid had to take me to the hospital and that's when I told Shiro what happened to James." Nobody knows what happened to me besides that man and me." Keith let out several weeps as he rested his head on Lance's.

"Keith." Lance held him. "We need to get over this."

"I know. But, not right now." Keith wiped his and Lance's tears. "Let's go eat first, okay?"

They got up, both of the changed into pajamas, and went downstairs to figure out the food.

"I like cheese, but we should get pineapple," Lance said, hopping onto the counter. 

"Ew. No. just cheese." Keith scoffed as he dialed the number for the pizza place. He ordered one large cheese pizza, and breadsticks because Lance wouldn't stop begging. "One hell of a birthday huh?" Keith said sarcastically.

"Actually. Mr. Hot head. It's been a great birthday," Lance pulled Keith's sweatshirt collar closer and kissed his nose. "I feel like it's been a month when its only been a week." Lance stared into Keith's eyes.

"I feel like I've known you for years and years." Keith smiled and leaned in, wrapping his arms around Lance's neck and teasing him by not kissing him.

"Kiss me you asshole." Lance leaned in but Keith dodged him. "Oh my god, Keith kiss me." 

"Heh." Keith finally kissed Lance. "Like that?" 

"Yes. Dumbass." Lance ran his fingers through Keith's hair and let out a small sigh.

After ten minutes of playing thumb war and Keith cheating, the doorbell rang and Lance went to answer it. 

"Large cheese with breadstic-" Coran was at the door and his voice stopped working when he saw Lance and Keith standing in the doorway, holding out a 10 dollar bill.

"Thanks." Keith gave him the $10 and took the box, giving a cheeky smile.

Keith proceeded to slam the door in his face and sat down on the counter opening the box and taking out a slice of gooey pizza.

"What the fuck just happened," Lance asked, sitting next to Keith, confused.

"I don't know, but I'm fucking ruining that kid when school starts." Keith laughed, pizza sauce on his chin.

"You're so messy Keith." Lance wiped off the sauce with his finger and wiped it onto a napkin before continuing to grab a piece.

"We should do something. I'm tired of being in this house." Keith said as they finished their last slices.

"We should go to the arcade!" Lance was excited.

"Um. Lance, hon. It's midnight." Keith smiled. "Actually, I know a place. First thing tomorrow okay? 

"You called me hon." Lance blushed. "That was cute."

Keith blushed and kissed Lance. "Come on you big idiot. Let's go to bed."

The two got ready for bed. Keith first, he waited until Lance's shower was over to sleep. Lance got out, dried off his hair as much as he could so that Keith wouldn't be wet, then slipped into bed next to Keith and wrapped all of his limbs around Keith's side.

"You always smell so good. And you're so warm. How?" Keith smiled, kissing Lance's forehead repetitively.

"You warm me up." Lance blushed and nuzzled into Keith's chest. "I love you" Lance kissed Keith's neck and cuddled him.

"I love you too." Keith smiled, and the two went to bed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fucked up the plot lol. sorry...


	8. Little White Lies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm trying something new where I do points of views. I will let you know when I'm switching and who's perspective is being brought on. Enjoy!

July 29th, 5:37 AM

 

Keith woke up to the sound of Lance's panting and gasping for breath. He sat up, realizing that Lance wasn't paying attention to anything around him other than himself. Keith took a few seconds and then realized what was happening. Lance, sitting up, was pinching at the flesh of his thighs so hard that Keith could visibly see the veins extruding from his forearms.

"No- Stop... Please... I just want to slee... p... Just let me... Sleep." Lance was saying his words in slurs, crying and gasping in between phrases.

"Lance! Lance, baby what's wrong?" Keith restrained Lance's hands, which was difficult to do, and held them gently while using the other hand to wipe Lance's tears.

Lance couldn't stop hyperventilating. He was about to pass out from lack of oxygen.

"Lance, LANCE!" Keith screamed, trying to keep Lance from passing out.

"Huh? What happened!?" Lance snapped out of it, looking around the room until his eyes met Keith's, which were wide open in confusion and fear. 

"You were squeezing your legs?" Keith looked at Lance confused.

"Oh my god," Lance started rambling. "I'm sorry you had to see that, I thought I had it under control and it should've stopped by now and I'm so-"

"No. Don't be sorry. It's okay." Keith kissed Lance's forehead and got up.

"Where are you going? Come back to bed." Lance got up with Keith and followed him downstairs.

"It's pretty early in the morning but if we're up we might as well stay up. Movies? I promised you." Keith smiled, pulling out a half-empty carton of ice cream.

"I guess you're right, and sure just let me go pee first. You set up the movie." Lance walked over to the downstairs bathroom.

*

*

* TRIGGER WARNING FOR SELF HARM/ ANXIETY:*

Lance didn't have to pee. He just wanted to be alone for a couple minutes. Inside he wanted to throw up and die. He reached inside of the cabinet and pulled out whatever he could find. Finally, he came across a pack of shaving blade refills in a small tin along with a couple of straight razors. 

"Just this once. It might help." He whispered to himself before pulling up his boxers, which he wore to bed, and examining the inner part of his thigh.

He began to feel something strange in his gut, as past memories infused his thoughts. Lance bent down over the toilet and nearly vomited out his entire stomach. He needed to cope. He promised himself he would never do this, Lance McClain never breaks promises. Except apparently to himself. 

Lance got up, flushed the toilet, brushed his teeth with one of the brand new toothbrushes, then sat on the edge of the tub, staring at his bruised black and blue legs.

Lance knew the time would come and Keith would see the scars left. He couldn't wait forever to go there with Keith, not to mention the guilt he would feel for lying to Keith. But Lance wasn't thinking about the consequences of his actions, he just wanted relief from the constant anxiety. He wanted to feel what he knew could help him. Not caring about Keith's worrying or the fact that he'd be turning himself into a cutting board. 

"Just... Just this once." Lance inhaled and dragged the fine silver head of the straight razor onto the inner part of his right thigh. 

He started to lose control after the first 3 lines appeared, watching in awe as the blood balled up in certain areas. After 32 cuts were marked into his thigh, he finally snapped back into reality, realizing what he had just done. He got up, pulling down his boxers which had a small square of blood in the corner. 

"Shit." He whispered. Lance then proceeded to make his sensitive nose bleed by rubbing it furiously. He then cleaned off his legs, trying not to cry. He then made sure to get blood from his nose on his boxers once his nose started to actually bleed out instead of a little bit. This would be a good excuse. He made sure his nose had stopped before exiting the bathroom and pulling himself back into reality. It had been so long since one of his attacks.

*  
*

 

Making his way up the stairs, Lance tried to think of what to say so that Keith wouldn't question him. He felt terrible for lying to the love of his life, but as long as Keith was happy and Lance could get himself together, Lance was okay with telling a little white lie.

"Hey, did you have a nosebleed? You need help sweety?" Keith smiled talking through a mouth of food, nearly choking on his popcorn.

"Heh, it's okay. Did you call me sweety?" Lance blushed. 

"Oh my god, Lance. Let's get you cleaned up." Keith smiled.

**LANCE'S POV**

That fucking smile. Why does he have to smile like that? I bet he can see right through me. He knows me. He'll know if I lie. It's okay Lance, calm down. Just tell him the truth. The one he wants to hear.

Keith sat me down on the bathroom counter, grabbing a small towel and dabbing my face with warm water. He took off my shirt and cleaned up the blood that had seeped through. 

"I have a deviated septum, so my nose bled a lot when I was little. Shiro ended up getting me surgery to fix it and then I got my nose pierced." Keith was so cute when he laughed.

How was I supposed to lie to that laugh?

"You'd look sexy with a nose piercing." He really would. His hair pushed back too would drive me insane.

Keith blushed, "I think I still have the hole in my nose and my old piercing. Go change your boxers I'm gonna go find it." Keith was so funny when he was trying to impress me. I loved that about him.

While he was rummaging through his desk to find his old nose piercings, I grabbed a pair of boxers and sweatpants from my dresser. I went to the bathroom to change and when I finished he came in and tried to fit a nose ring on. 

"I think it fits, just let me find the right size, that one's too tight." Keith was determined to get one in his nose, I loved that about him. He was determined to do his best at everything, including loving me. "That's what she said!" He snorted.

"You are such a try hard. But I love you." I joked as I held his waist from behind him, making faces in the mirror to mess up his concentration.

"I love you too." Keith turned around and put his hands on my chest. I love the feeling of his hands on my bare skin, it makes my spine tingle. Keith kissed me, his lips are so soft and he knows what he's doing, it drives me wild.

Keith started to kiss my neck, which turned into me sitting on the counter with him between my legs and eventually turned into Keith kissing down my chest until he reached my abs, leaving a fresh red mark on each with his lips.

It all felt so right, I wasn't even panicking. No anxiety, no flashbacks, nothing but Keith and I. He started to ascend down to where my sweatpant strap met my skin.

At first, I didn't even think about the cuts. Keith had a way with me that could make me do anything with just a look. I wanted it, him. I really did. But I couldn't let him see. I couldn't do that to him. I did the first thing I could think of.

"Keith," I spoke almost in a whisper from nervousness. I think he took it the wrong way because he kept going, more passionately. He was almost to the start of my pants, slowly making his way down. "Keith," I spoke a bit louder.

"Yeah?" He mumbled, holding my thighs down to the counter with his forearms, his hands holding my waist. I couldn't help but let out a sigh, he made me feel so nice.

"I'm... I" I could barely speak. What the fuck Lance? Just tell him. Just speak.

"Yeah?" He spoke clearly, now reaching his hands to my thighs, and bending down to kneel on the floor, his head nearly to my crotch.

"KEITH!" I finally screamed. Flushed with nervousness I was shaking and worried he would be mad.

"Lance! I'm sorry I thought-"

"It's okay. I should've told you before it started," Fuck. Maybe that would've been it. Maybe that would be the point where I could let go. I wanted to. I wanted Keith. I wanted to make him happy and I wanted to be happy. I clasped my hands to my face, ashamed of myself.

Keith got back up and hugged me, I could hear him holding back tears. I felt like an asshole. I kissed him and told him not to worry, and that I just needed time. This was weird for me, normally the positions were switched. We sat down and ate the melted ice cream soup out of the carton and watched an old James Bond movie.

"He's cute." I teased Keith, who gave me a menacing look before slapping my head which was laying in his lap. 

"You're cute." I smiled and turned around, facing his belly and looking up to his grey eyes. He blushed and looked away, still upset. "Hey, you got a little purple in your eyes. Beautiful." Keith smiled. My mission was complete.

I started to kiss the little bit of skin flopping over his sleep pants. It was soft and warm, and smelled like Keith, like flowers and strawberries. I made my way up, pushing my hand up his shirt, my other on holding his waist. He let out a soft sigh, letting me know he wanted more. I slowly pulled down his pants to reveal spiderman boxers. 

"OH MY GOD, I KNEW YOU LIKED MARVEL!" I GASPED.

"You tell anyone, you die." He gave me a stern look and I continued, this time giggling more than I should. 

I pulled off his pants and slipped my hands up his shirt, grabbing onto his sides as my head slipped down. I started to pull his boxers down with my teeth.

"Lance, you don't have to-"

I shushed him up pretty quickly and he probably wasn't that mad about it considering the method of shushing I used. At least I think he liked it.

**KEITH'S POV**

I lay awake as Lance's hand rests on my chest. Maybe I'm the burden. Maybe if I was patient he could go through with intimacy. Maybe I just ruin it for him. It was 5 PM and we fell asleep after what was probably the best movie of my life. I headed downstairs, leaving Lance in bed. I felt bad for leaving him, I didn't want him to ever be alone. 

When I got downstairs I put a capsule of grounds in the coffee maker and looked through the news while I waited for the cup to be filled. There were the usual, magazines and junk mail, along with college scout programs offering Shiro positions. Finally, there was a letter addressed to me, but from the space center? I opened it, sipping on my coffee at the table.

"Keith,

Congratulations on getting accepted to the Galaxy Garrison. We are pleased to inform you that your legal father, Takashi Shirogane has vouched for you!"

I couldn't read anymore. We talked about this. I told him I love space but I couldn't commit to that. I just wanted to do something other than that. Who knows what people would do to me if I went there. 

I needed to get my mind off of this, and I couldn't bother Shiro anymore, he was going to the international space station soon to train. I finished my coffee, then went upstairs. I needed to take a shower, but Lance looks so damn cute sitting there and pouting in his sleep because I left.

I wrapped my arms around his hips, noticing he was wearing my sweatshirt and boxers. As I pulled the covers up from under us, I noticed a small scratch on Lance's inner thigh. It looked like he just scraped it on something, but how? I ignored it, thinking he probably scratched himself on accident or something, knowing Lance it was possible. But it was really weird. I decided to let it go and covered both of us, admiring Lance's freckles and counting them until I eventually fell asleep with on hand up his shirt and the other holding his hand.

*SWITCH TO 3RD POV*

When Lance finally woke up, he stood up and immediately walked over to the bathroom, checking on his wounds. He pulled up his boxers to find that they were fresh and red, some had scabbed over. There was one prominent one that showed just below his boxer line. If he wasn't careful Keith could see it. 

Lance walked across the bedroom to find sweatpants as for some reason it was freezing outside. He put on a pair and walked over to the bed, admiring how beautiful Keith was when he slept. He sat up against the headboard, playing with Keith's hair. Lance had never really noticed the little freckles Keith has around his nose and the small visible hole where his piercing was. Lance pictured Keith wearing a nose ring. He was serious when he said it would be sexy. Lance gazed at his lips. They were so red and beautiful. Keith had plump and soft lips. Lance put his hand on Keith's cheek, noticing how his widow's peak showed when he tied his hair back. He did that when he slept. Lance blushed and kissed Keith's forehead, out of loneliness and boredom, he tried to wake Keith up by kissing his temples and nose until Keith finally responded. 

"Good morning sunshine." Lance smiled, kissing Keith.

"Good morning." Keith yawned and rolled over, pulling Lance's hands to his waist. "5 more minutes." 

"Arcade day," Lance said remembering Keith's promise and kissing Keith's knuckles until he started to convince Lance to let him sleep.

After about 10 minutes of Keith trying to flirt in more sleep, he finally got up.

Keith got dressed while Lance spent 12 minutes deciding on what shirt to wear.

After they were ready, they decided to go to a diner for breakfast, a really late breakfast. It would be nice to get out of the house, besides they had nothing to spend money on, and they figured making use of it would be better.

Keith sat Lance down, before sitting across from him at the booth. The two glanced at the menu for way too long before deciding what to order. It was a self-seating restaurant, so the servers could look and see if you were still eyeing the menu or not before coming to take an order. Finally, they decided on pancakes and chicken fingers to share.

"Hi, I'm Lotor and I'll be your server." A tan man with white hair smiled at the two, Keith's face was funny until he recognized the waiter. 

"HEY! YOU'RE ALLURA'S DAD!" Keith smiled, feeling accomplished. 

"Oh my god! Keith! I didn't recognize you. How are you?!" Lotor smiled.

"I'm good, how's Alfor?" Keith looked genuinely interested.

"He's doing better, but Allura flew us home just a couple days ago, we were on vacation." Lotor smiled. 

After a couple minutes of reminiscing, Lotor took their order, along with a complimentary side of fries, and went off to place it.

"Allura has 2 dads?" Lance smiled, happily.

"Her mom died when she was young, and Alfor was bisexual. Lotor knew my parents too. Kind of how Shiro and Allura know each other. Alfor has long-term cancer, he'll be alive for a while, just in a lot of pain." Keith stirred his water with his straw and took a sip.

"Oh, well that's cool. Not the cancer part, but the other part." Lance smiled, taking Keith's hand.

The two finished their meal, along with the chocolate sundae that was on the house, courtesy of Lotor.

While they were in the car, listening to old 2000s music when they arrived at the arcade. 

They arrived at a huge warehouse with one single sign that said: 'Krolivan's BOM' with little LED hearts around it.

"Are you sure this is the right place?" Asked Lance.

"You'll see. I think you'll come to find I have a lot of old friends in this city." Keith smiled, opening his car door, then immediately running around the car to open Lance's door before he could.

Lance blushed, "Thank you," He stood up, barely an inch away from Keith's face, and then teased Keith by not kissing him.

As Keith led Lance through several downward flights of stairs, he explained how he knew these people.

"Krolia and Kolivan were my last and longest foster parents. I consider them family. For the 5 years, I lived with them, this was what we did for fun. You'll see." Keith smiled, hopping down the last couple flights of stairs before a long hallway.

"Why'd you stop living with them? Was that when Shiro adopted you?" Lance asked.

"No, actually this dude named Sendak at the agency decided their house was too full. They fought for me but I ended up being forced away." Keith looked down. "But we still keep in touch, and they're like my parents, to be honest. You'll love them."

Keith led an extremely tired Lance through one more hallway and headed towards a large door at the end of it.

"Why is this place so complicated??" Lance complained.

"So that they don't get caught unlicensed." Keith smiled, opening the door.

When the door was opened, Lance saw rows among rows of arcade games, including the original Pac Man, Mario Kart, Centipede, Donkey Kong, Batman Forever, Crime City, DDR, Frogger, Tempest, Dig Dug, Galaxian, etc. In the back, there were booths similar to a real arcade, and there was even a small ball pit. The room was empty except for a couple battling at DDR, that turned around when they hear the door swing open. 

"KEITH! IS THAT YOU?" The woman yelled, running up to Keith and squeezing him into a hug.

"HEY KOLIVAN! IT'S KEITH!!" She yelled, and her husband came running too.

"KEITH? HOW ARE YA SON?" The man hugged the two and picked them up, swinging them both around.

"I'm good guys. How are you?" Keith smiled, gladly accepting their bear hugs.

"We're great. I'm sure you saw the empty rooms, we're no longer foster parents, but we do still hang out in this place! Although we have missed you tons!" Kolivan said smiling.

"Who's this?" Krolia asked, shaking Lance's hand and smiling.

"I'm Lance! Keith's boyfriend." Lance smiled.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Lance! We always knew Keith was gay." Krolia giggled, making Keith blush. "Come, we were just about to make some pizza. Y'all can go play any game to your heart's desire."

Keith grabbed Lance's hand, running to a game called 'Voltron: Legendary Defender' and clicking the start button.

"What's this?" Lance smiled, checking in his character as the blue lion.

"So the object of the game is to defeat the Galra, which is this evil alien group of bad people. Your lion, blue, can freeze things and blast sound waves. Mine, red, can heat things up and is super fast. Nobody has ever beaten my high score." Keith showed Lance all of the controls, and finally, they finished the game, beating the boss.

"Well, well, look who beat your high score." Lance pointed to the leaderboard, 'Lance Lance' reading across the first placemark. "Second goes to... Thunderstorm Darkness?" Lance wheezed.

"Shut up Lance, I was like 6 or something." Keith scoffed.

"THUNDERSTORM DARKNESS!" Lance was snorting, on the floor, in the fetal position.

After 10 minutes of Lance dying, they decided to play more games. Crushing DDR, Lance gloating in his victory at Mario Kart, Lance begging for rematches in Garfle Warfle Snick, and Keith losing at Sharp Shooter, they finally decided to head towards Krolia and Kolivan, and eat some pizza.

"So how long have you guys been foster parents?" Lance asked while shoving a french fry in his mouth.

"About 20 years. Keith was probably our best kid though. It's like we already knew him." Krolia smiled, shoving 2 fries in her mouth.

After some reminiscing, it was getting to be time to leave.

"Thank you, guys!" Keith hugged the two, who pulled Lance into the hug as well.

"You're always welcome here." They smiled.

On the way home, Lance was nodding off to the silence in the car.

"Why do you say that you're alone when there are so many people that care about you?" Lance yawned, putting his head on the window.

"It's hard to explain. I guess when you're sad a lot, the thought get to you. No matter how loved you are it just never sinks in that there are people there. You just slip away." Keith was confused at his own words.

"Have you ever done something that you know will hurt someone, but you just weren't thinking about that?" Lance asked, realizing that he probably shouldn't have asked that.

"What do you mean?" Keith asked.

"I mean like, have you ever known that something you're doing is hurting people, but you do it anyway because it just temporarily fixes things?" Lance was giving too much detail and he knew it.

"I think I know what you mean. No. If I think something will help me but hurt someone else then I won't do it. I feel like no matter how much you need something if it hurts someone else it's not worth it." Keith said sternly. "I think we're talking about different things."

"What? You think killing yourself isn't hurting anyone?" Lance suddenly felt completely awake.

Keith nearly stopped the car, but instead pulled over.

"Is there something you're not telling me?" Keith looked directly at Lance, who was internally crying.

"I'm just angry that you think suicide is okay," Lance said, his voice shaking.

Keith continued driving home. About 12 minutes after Lance had said this, he finally replied.

"I don't think it's okay for anyone but myself." He pulled into the driveway and parked the car before putting his head on the steering wheel. "If you seriously want to know. I value everyone's life except my own. I want to stop. I want to care about myself, but I can't. So I think it's okay if I die because I physically cannot imagine another person caring about me if I can't even care about myself." 

"But I value your life. Do you seriously think I don't love you?" Lance asked, trying to hold Keith's hand.

"Lance you don't understand. I love you, and I know you love me. I just can't feel loved. No matter how hard I try I can't accept it." Keith banged his head on the wheel.

"Why," Lance said rather than asked.

"I don't know Lance," Keith said.

"I think you do. I think you know people love you, but you just don't want to accept it because you're scared they'll leave." Lance said.

"Lance can we please not do this?" Keith pleaded.

"You know this hurts me right? It hurts me that I love you and you can't accept that." Lance said, hurt.

"You know what. I'm sorry that I'm fucked up. I can't help it, Lance. I'm sorry I'm even fucking alive. It seems like I can't even do that right." Keith started crying, but wiped his tears and got out of the car, opening Lance's door then going inside.

"Fuck Lance. You fucking idiot." Lance whispered to himself before opening the front door and trying to locate Keith.

**LANCE'S POV**

I burst through the bedroom door to find the bathroom locked and Keith nowhere in sight.

Fuck Lance. Why do you have to be so stupid?

I banged on the bathroom door until I finally heard a single weep come from inside. 

"KEITH! Keith. I'm sorry. Please just open the door. I can help you." I cried out.

I looked through his cluttered drawers until I found a key and unlocked the bathroom to find Keith passed out.

"KEITH! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED? KEITH ANSWER ME PLEASE. I LOVE YOU." I pleaded for him to wake up but he wouldn't. "Okay. Okay. Calm down, Lance. Just breathe. Breathe. Just don't freak out. Just get him on the bed."

What the fuck was I supposed to do? I couldn't call the cops. Shiro would kill me. Keith would kill me too, and I'm already dead for being gay. I carried Keith to the bed and tried to gather my thoughts. 

"Okay. You haven't overdosed. You don't smell like alcohol. You probably just passed out from hyperventilating. Why the fuck am I talking you can't hear me." I was hyperventilating. I couldn't pass out too, so I rushed to find the emergency kit Allura had given us yesterday saying that it had more resources.

"Okay, okay. Check to see if the patient is breathing. FUCK HE'S NOT BREATHING. Wait. Okay. If the patient has a pulse this means they are unconscious from lack of oxygen. Okay. Okay? Lack of CO2 and O2 balance can cause breathing to stop during unconsciousness. Wat 2-3 minutes for the patient to continue breathing, meanwhile call 911. Fuck. Well, we can't do that. Okay. If he doesn't breathe then I'll just give him CO2. Okay. He's breathing. Come on Keith."

After 10 minutes of him breathing but not responding, I got impatient and worried.

"Keith. Keith! Baby, please wake up I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I was crying, holding him in my arms. 

I hated myself more than anything. How could I do this? 

After an hour of me sobbing my eyes out, Keith finally started to wake up. 

"Lance?" He asked, sitting up.

"I'm sorry," I said, almost whispering. "I knew if I called an ambulance you would get mad."

"It's okay. I overreacted." Keith said, hugging me. He held me so tenderly, wrapping his arms over my shoulders like he was a child.

It would have been extremely corny and gross if we instantly forgave each other and made love. We didn't. Instead, Keith explained what he was saying, and I listened and tried to understand.

"I think my mind has kind of programmed itself to put a wall up whenever someone comes into my life. I always expect something bad to happen. I always prepare myself to be left. That way when it happens I don't feel as bad. I've been tossed around like nothing. I'm naturally untrusting and unless I'm drunk or desperate, I'll never open up to anyone. It takes time to get to me and you are one of the only people I trust enough to give my life to." Keith was looking at me as if he was a lost puppy, and I had just found him.

I wasn't thinking. I just wanted him to feel better. I just needed to fix this. 

I started to kiss him. My left hand creeping up his shirt, the other holding his neck in place. I placed one of his hands on my thighs. I wasn't afraid. I wasn't scared. I wanted this to happen. Keith started to get on top of me, holding my shirt in one hand and pulling it up. It was okay. I wasn't freaking out. He placed on of his hands on my neck and kissed me passionately. 

Fuck. I can't do this. Not even the cuts. I started thinking of her. Barbara. I started thinking of her climbing on top of me, her fingers wrapped around my throat. Keith could sense my strain. He backed off but I pulled him back in. He started to kiss my neck. That spot drives me wild but I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't hear his tiny moans or see anything. My mind went blank. All I could feel was Barbara's hands clasping my throat. I held my breath. I stopped doing anything. I just stopped. I heard Keith's muffled voice calling out to me. I didn't know where I was. All I saw was black. 

Everything went fuzzy and I woke up in Keith's bed. I was too exhausted to move but I could move my eyes. I saw Keith leaned against the far side of the bathroom, many small blades surrounding him. He was staring at his wrists. 

"K-keith." My voice was raspy like I had been screaming.

Keith heard me. He got up, rushing to the bed and closed the bathroom door on his way out.

"Yea? What happened are you okay?" Keith asked, sitting me up.

"What were you doing? Show me your wrists." I tried grabbing his hand but he pulled back. "Keith," I said more clearly, I grabbed his arm and pulled up his sleeve to reveal 4 cuts on his outer wrist.

"Lance. I'm sorry." He said, pulling away. "I stopped myself before I did too much."

I kissed his wrist and hugged him. "Just don't do it again." How could I judge him If I hid mine from him?

"It's midnight. We need to go grocery shopping." I said, running my fingers through his hair.

"Perfect timing." He smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. I really fucked up the plot. Oof well at least nobody actually reads this lol. If you have any suggestions feel free to leave a comment and I'll totally get back to you. Welp, I'm sorry this is all over the place I feel so scattered lately, so I guess it reflects through my writing. I'm trying to update every week.


	9. Quick Update

I'm really sorry I haven't updated I'm really depressed lately and as some of you know this story is based on a true story. In the future chapters, you'll come to find this comes into play. I've been mourning my best friend's death for a while but lately, it's been setting in extremely badly. I just needed some time to think about things but I figured I owed you all an explanation as to why I haven't posted in a couple weeks. As always I appreciate all of your support and even just you all reading my story that I put in hours of time into making. Upon writing chapter 9 right now, I keep all of you in mind and this is something keeping me from going insane. 

Mental health is a very important subject to bring awareness to and I'm currently in the process of reaching out for help. I've suffered from anxiety, depression, and eating disorder, and PSTD for over a year and a half now and I want all of you to know that you always have me to reach out to. Please seek help if you are experiencing any signs of mental illness. Please please please get help if you go through anything that Keith or Lance go through in my story, I handle pretty serious topics and it's very important to me to stay true (for the most part) to the original story and also to warn you all that the behavior in this story, the unhealthy behavior, is unsafe and needs to be addressed.

As always, stay safe my loves and I promise I will update very very soon. Chapter 9 is a lot to handle.

Here is a list of helplines and resources for those of you seeking help:

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE

Post Abortion Counseling 1-800-228-0332

Post Abortion Project Rachel 1-800-5WE-CARE

National Abortion Federation Hotline 1-800-772-9100

National Office of Post Abortion Trauma 1-800-593-2273

Eating Disorders Awareness and Prevention 1-800-931-2237

Eating Disorders Center 1-888-236-1188

National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders 1-847-831-3438

Remuda Ranch 1-800-445-1900

Family Violence Prevention Center 1-800-313-1310

Compulsive Gambling Hotline 1-410-332-0402

GriefShare 1-800-395-5755

Homeless 1-800-231-6946

American Family Housing 1-888-600-4357

National Sexual Assault Hotline 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

Stop it Now! 1-888-PREVENT

United States Elder Abuse Hotline 1-866-363-4276

National Child Abuse Hotline 1-800-4-A-CHILD (422-4453)

Child Abuse Hotline / Dept of Social Services 1-800-342-3720

Child Abuse National Hotline 1-800-25ABUSE

Children in immediate danger 1-800-THE-LOST

Exploitation of Children 1-800-843-5678

Missing Children Help Center 1-800-872-5437

Marijuana Anonymous 1-800-766-6779

Alcohol Treatment Referral Hotline (24 hours) 1-800-252-6465

Families Anonymous 1-800-736-9805

Cocaine Hotline (24 hours) 1-800-262-2463

Drug Abuse National Helpline 1-800-662-4357

National Association for Children of Alcoholics 1-888-554-2627

Ecstasy Addiction 1-800-468-6933

Alcoholics for Christ 1-800-441-7877

Helpline: 1-800-398-GAYS

Gay and Lesbian National Hotline 1-888-843-4564

Trevor Hotline (Suicide) 1-866-4-U-TREVOR

Hotline for parents considering abducting their children 1-800-A-WAY-OUT

United States Missing Children Hotline 1-800-235-3535

Poison Control 1-800-942-5969

Boystown National Hotline 1-800-448-3000

National Runaway Safeline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929)

Laurel House 1-714-832-0207

National Runaway Switchboard 1-800-621-4000

Teenline 1-888-747-TEEN

Youth Crisis Hotline 1-800-448-4663

S.A.F.E. (Self Abuse Finally Ends) 1-800-DONT-CUT

Suicide Hotline 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433)

1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-827-7571

Deaf Hotline 1-800-799-4TTY

Holy Spirit Teenline (717) 763-2345 or 1-800-722-5385

Crisis Intervention (Harrisburg) (717) 232-7511 or 1- 888- 596-4447

Carlisle Helpline (717) 249-6226

Crisis Intervention (York) (717) 851-5320 or 1-800-673-2496

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE

National Domestic Violence Hotline Spanish 1-800-942-6908

Battered Women and their Children 1-800-603-HELP

Elder Abuse Hotline 1-800-252-8966

RAINN 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

 

Please stay safe, I love you all and if you need to contact me to help my instagram is @nunofyabeeswax my DM's are ALWAYS open. <3


	10. Finally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IN ORDER TO MAKE UP FOR MY LACK OF POSTING, I GAVE Y'ALL A LOT OF FLUFF SO ENJOY. I LOVE YOU ALL!!

July 30th, 3:27 AM

Keith and I were getting ready to go to the store, discussing our list while sitting on Keith's bed. Before then we had compiled a list of inventory from the kitchen.

"We don't have any meat so we should probably get some of that," Keith said, scribbling onto a sheet of lined paper.

I noticed him push his glasses back up the bridge of his nose, and then his finger slipped into his mouth as he picked at his nail. I could feel myself blush as I looked away. He kept picking at it, probably from anxiety.

"Don't do that," I grabbed his hand. We made eye contact and tension rose as I kissed him, shifting our two hands so that I was holding his onto the bed. My hands started to slip down to his thighs and then to his zipper. 

"Hey," Keith, pulled away. He held my hand in his and looked me in the eyes. "I know you want to. I do too. Believe me, Lance. I want to so badly. But last time you blacked out. I can't lose you and I'd rather wait for my whole life than rush into this, only to leave you disappointed every time. Plus, we need to finish the list." Him saying this all made me want him more.

I leaned my forehead to his chest, I could hear his racing heartbeat slow as I held his arms in place as they rested on my shoulders.

"I know. I just don't want to give up." I said, picking my head back up and then looking down as I grabbed the notebook Keith had just been writing in.

"Hey, you're ready when you're ready. It doesn't matter when. Waiting is not giving up." Keith kissed me softly.

It got a little more intense. He intended to end the kiss but I pulled him back in, harder. I should have stopped. He started to sigh in ecstasy as I kissed down his neck and slipped my fingers in his pants, unzipping them and starting to pull them off.

"Lance," He gasped for breath as soon as I got my shirt off. "I don't know if this will work."

"Do you trust me?" I asked, kissing his fingers that had been gliding on my face.

"Yes," He smiled.

His pants were off and so were mine, I pulled off his shirt and started to climb on top of him. He pulled me in, trailing his fingers up and down my spine. Things got more heated. He was now on top of me and we were about to become intimate before I yelled in pain from his pelvis scraping against one of my cuts on my thigh. 

"Oh my god, are you okay?" Keith backed off but I pulled him in again, baring the pain and pulling the covers over both of us.

I felt his hips move in sync with mine as we kissed, inching closer and closer until Keith got impatient and pulled my boxers down. Occasionally I pulled on the sheets of the bed out of bliss. Soon he pinned me down and kissed my neck and chest, leaving red marks all over my chest as we swayed to our own rhythm. 

It was beautiful. All my mind was focused on was Keith. Nobody else. Just his rapid, raspy breath escaping his mouth as he pulled away every couple of kisses. His arms holding me. I focused on our lips locking and his eyes squeezing together occasionally. I focused on our rhythm and was devoured by his touch. All of my bad memories flushed away when he touched me. 

For a moment I thought of Barbara, but then those memories shifted. Her clasping my throat turned into Keith's hands holding my neck gently. Her squeezing my thighs turned into Keith holding one up with glee, the feeling intoxicating. 

I couldn't help but sigh in contentment from how Keith made me feel. I could tell he was happy by the way his head fell on my shoulders near the end.

Finally, as the sun came up and our pleasure concluded, Keith laid down beside me, leaning over and placing his left hand on my chest.

"Are you okay? Did anything go wrong?" He asked, slipping on my hoodie from the floor and climbing back into the covers.

"It was amazing," I smiled, kissing him. I was relieved he didn't notice my cuts and that we finally reached intimacy without me having an attack.

We slept through the early morning. I couldn't help but smile when I woke up before Keith. I felt so different and lucky. 

Upon entering the shower, I noticed in the mirror that the red marks on my neck had turned black and blue, like bruises.

I took a shower, noticing that my cuts were bright red from the friction of last night. When I got out I noticed Keith was out of bed, I heard him downstairs cooking something and probably burning down the house because he can't cook to save his life.

After I finished freshening up, I changed into some of Keith's pajamas, some silky pants and a button up silk top. I left it unbuttoned in hopes that Keith would do the thing where he puts his hands on my chest. That makes me so crazy for him.

As I entered the kitchen, I saw Keith flipping what looked like pancakes. He was wearing my hoodie with my red lifeguard shorts on that I must've packed in my suitcase from Arizona, although I don't remember them being in my suitcase, I remember my old girlfriend stealing them.

"So you can cook?" I said, holding him from behind and kissing his neck. "Nice shorts. Where'd you get them?"

"Good morning," He smiled, turning around and wrapping his arms around my neck and kissing me, which was rather aggressive, but I figured he was just happy. He blushed and put his hands on my chest, smiling. "You sleep well?"

He went to move his hands but I kept them on my chest and kissed him again. 

"I slept great. You?" I smiled, holding his hand as I flipped the last pancake onto a plate for him.

After making coffee, the two of us sat down at the table and started to eat. It was awkward because we often exchanged glances that followed in smiles and giggles.

"Why is this awkward, it's not like it's our first time," I said, finally breaking the silence.

"I guess this time we both enjoyed it," Keith said, talking through a mouth full of pancakes. I couldn't help but blush because it was adorable how his eyes widened.

After finally finishing our list at the table, I sat up on the counter and dried the dishes after Keith washed them.

"For dinner, we should make Cuban food, my Mama's chicken is the best and I have the recipe." I smiled, looking at Keith's scrunched up nose as he scraped pancake syrup off of a plate.

"Listen to me, Lance. We c-" Keith paused and set down the sponge. "I can't do this anymore. You need to leave. I saw your cuts and to be honest I don't love you. Who could love a mess like you?"

I knew he was acting weird. I knew he was barely kissing me. When I walked into the kitchen he waited for me to make a move, knowing Keith he would have flirted. What was happening, what was all of this? I began to feel myself suffocate.

His words were all drowned out like I was underwater and he was speaking above the shore. All I saw was black and blue until a familiar voice called to me.

"Lance, hey. It's okay, I'm here. You're safe, wake up. It's okay honey I got you." Keith was hovering over me, picking up and into his lap, rocking me back and forth, as I hyperventilated in the space beside him. It was all just a nightmare. 

"Y-You w-were. Y-you were, you hated me. You don't love me. I-I'm just a fuck up. I-I n-need to go home. I need to leave." I instantly got up and started scrambling for my suitcase. I was still in Keith's boxers and hoodie, what I fell asleep in the night before. Keith crawled out of bed and rushed to me, dropping down to the floor after me.

"Hey, I love you. I really do, why else would you be here, a-and sleep in my bed with me? Why else would I kiss you when I got the chance, or defend you, or even be here trying to reason with you? I love you, Lance. Why would you think I don't?" Keith looked up at me and held my shoulder, grabbing my hand and pulling me back to the bed.

"I just had a dream. I'm sorry." I couldn't even look at him. Damn it, Lance, why are you such a pussy?

Keith hugged me and told me not to worry. He told me he would go downstairs and finish up the list for shopping and instructed me to take a shower.

I finished my shower, examining myself in the mirror. Did I look different? I mean, sure there were hickeys and bite marks/ nail marks all over my neck and chest and pretty much my whole torso, but I felt different. 

I dried off my hair as much as I could, then looked through my drawers to find some pants. They were all dirty and needed to be washed. I decided to look through Keith's drawers to find something, and not only did I find many MANY Celine Dion CD's, but I also found a pair of lifeguard booty shorts. Go figure. I put them on, relieved when noticing they were long enough to cover my cuts, which were starting to scab up. I put on Keith's giant black hoodie that smells like him, then went downstairs. Before that, I cleaned up the bedroom a bit. It brightens the mood.

I was surprised to find Keith making pancake batter, and doing it right. I think he knew about my weakness with him touching my chest, because when he saw me he smiled and pushed his hands up my shirt, then kissed me. 

"Cute shorts, where'd you get them?" Okay. At this point, I was definitely going insane. There's no way I was dreaming again. I let it go, there's no way.

"Celine Dion, huh?" I smiled, kissing him again. I never wanted to stop kissing those lips.

"Heh, you saw that huh?" He scratched the back of his head.

"You dork, don't worry, I won't tell anyone." I kissed him again and then directed my attention to the pancake batter.

"I added all the stuff from last time, but I also added cinnamon cause 'llura makes them like that and I kinda love them that way." Keith was such a dweeb, his nose gets all flared and cute when he talks about stuff he loved, and his whole face turned red when I noticed his cheeks blushing.

"Sounds good, what's dinner? We need to finish the list and decide after we eat. Funny how we always get things done the second time we say we'll do them."

"At least we got the Slurpees." Keith giggled. "I'll try to not burn the pancakes, you come up with stuff to add to the list."

"Sounds good." I headed to the table and started working on our shopping list. I had pretty much our list from last time, but only the things we ran out of like milk. That all was down, now I was just coming up with things to buy for meals and stuff. After all, we only had 5 more days until Shiro came back home. Speaking of which I debated whether or not to bring it up to Keith, then decided to just do it.

"Keith," Keith turned around, a pancake sticking out of his mouth.

"Yeah?" He was so cute. The pancake flopped as he spoke, I almost died from how adorable it was.

"We only have 5 more days until Shiro comes home. What are we gonna do? Does he even know that I'm staying another week?" I was getting more worried saying these things out loud.

"It's okay." He swallowed his pancake whole, then flipped the last one and walked over to me. "We'll tell him, but to be honest." Oh god, maybe I am psychic, I don't want to hear whatever he's gonna say. I don't want it to turn into my dream.

"Keith, I can go. I don't need to stay if he doesn't want me to." I pushed off Keith's hand from my thigh, noticing all of the bruises that were covered by hickeys and handprints.

"No. I was going to say that although Shiro would be welcoming and would love to have you here. I mean, we won't be able to sleep in the same bed." Keith was dancing his way around what he was trying to say.

"I thought you said Shiro lectured you about that kind of stuff and encouraged you to, you know," I responded.

"I mean yeah, but he's always wanted me to wait. Even though he lectures me about this and makes jokes and stuff, I don't know he'll just be overprotective and shit. I just, I'm kind of mad that you know, we just started getting intimate and we won't even be able to-" I shushed Keith with a kiss. He was rambling what was I supposed to do?

"It's okay. We'll find ways." I kissed him again and pushed my hands up his shirt before pulling away and teasing him. "We really need to go shopping."

We ate while finishing our shopping list, and counted the money we had left. It was just over 450 dollars, give or take. 

We went upstairs to get dressed after loading the dishes in the dishwasher, which I had to teach Keith how to use.

*KEITH'S POV**

"What should I wear?" Lance asked me. To be honest I wouldn't mind if he just wore what he was wearing currently. Those shorts were so sexy on him. 

"You don't even have to change." I caught myself drooling and stopped before he turned around.

"Of course I do, these are way too short, they show my bruises. They also show all of your hickeys thank you very much" Lance said, shifting his weight onto one leg and placing his hand on one hip. 

I walked over to him and held my hands on his waist.

"They, are perfect. Also, don't even lie, you loved it," I kissed him. He blushed so fondly and continued looking through my drawers for pants.

I decided to just put on jeans since I was wearing boxers and Lance's sweatshirt. I didn't really need to change.

After several minutes of convincing Lance to not change, he finally complied, but then changed his mind and put on slightly longer shorts of the same style that covered his bruises. He finally finished, and we headed to the car to leave. I fed Keef on the way out, while Lance got the money from my desk. 

We both finished around the same time, as I was rinsing Keef's water bowl and filling it up, Lance came downstairs with everything ready in my green satchel. Lance leaned over to pet Keef before we left, which I couldn't help but stare at. I noticed a scratch on his leg again but thought it best to ignore it. It probably wasn't anything right?

Lance offered to drive because he felt bad, but I refused because his license probably wasn't valid in Texas yet. 

We played Lance's old school music for a while before I switched on the radio to listen to the news. 

"Now folks, on the Marmora radio station, we have an interview with NASA's very own, Takashi Shirogane."

"Oh my god! That's Shiro." Lance's face lit up hearing Shiro being mentioned. It happened quite often and I was pretty much used to his name being honored.

"Commander Shirogane, congratulations on being nominated for the position of lead Martial in the Kerberos exploratory mission! How are you feeling?" This was news to me. He told me he would lay back until his shoulder surgery next year.

"What the fuck Shiro?" I almost stopped the car, but I pulled over to a neighborhood street.

"Did you not know?" Lance held my hands and tried to get me to calm down.

"Well thank you, Mr. Bob, I plan to get home to my wonderful family after my first round of training in about a week. I'm sure they'll be excited to hear the news. Although Martial is an extremely honored position, I for sure need to confer with my loved ones." Shiro sounded worried like he didn't know if I was listening or not.

I shut off the radio, and after calming down I got back on the road.

"You wanna talk about it?" Lance asked, putting his hand on my thigh and massaging it. Damn, that felt good, but I can't let Lance know. This and the Garrison? What is Shiro not telling me?

We finally entered the shopping complex, and out of instinct, Lance climbed into the cart and settled himself in. I laughed and entered the sliding doors.

"Okay, what's first?" I asked, bending over and placing my head on Lance's shoulders while pushing the cart to the first aisle.

"Milk, eggs, cheese, and I want to get those cute little cheese circls that they have in the dairy section." Lance smiled, and I pushed us both over to the dairy section.

We got everything from there, as well as some bread and donuts because Lance has a sweet tooth. 

"I want ice cream, you?" I pushed us to the ice cream aisle after Lance silently nodded.

We picked up the usuals, rocky road, and fish food then went on to the snack aisles. 

I stopped at the protein breakfast bars and picked one up, carefully reading the label. Shiro always got them for me before school since they filled me up and gave me energy in the morning. I missed him a lot. I was really craving the chocolate chip ones but they all had this one chemical that goes weird in my stomach. The brand Shiro buys wasn't in stock so I had to look through a bunch of brands.

Lance fell asleep after the 5th brand I checked, his head resting on the side of the cart. I really missed a lot of sleep last night because of his dream. I felt bad so I let him nap for a bit until I gave up looking and then out of the corner of my eye saw the brand and felt stupid. I started grabbing candy bars for Lance since he ate all of the chocolate from last week. 

Lance woke up when I tried stacking snickers bars on his head, I almost got to 5 but he started pouting when he woke up.

Lance danced around in the cart to the Spanish lyrics of the song that was playing in the store.

"Tall and tan and young and lovely the boy from Arizona goes walkin' and when he passes each one he passes goes - ahhhhh" I started singing. 'The Girl From Ipanema' by Frank Sinatra, I love this song, it's one of the only memories I have of my mother. When I was 3 she came to visit me and my father against the will of her family. She taught me the lyrics to this song and told me this song played in her heart every time she thought of me.

"You're singing it wrong." Lance blushed when he realized I was describing him.

"No, I'm just singing the song correctly." I chuckled. 

"You know this song?" Lance's face lit up, turned around in the cart to face me. "My sister Veroo and I sing this all the time. I love Frank Sinatra." He smiled fondly at me.

"Veroo?" I was confused

"Veronica, I call her V or Veroo. We love this song." Lance smiled, dancing around.

"I love this song too." I smiled. 

We finished up our shopping and went home, singing to the song on repeat from Lance's phone.

We got home and were unpacking the groceries in the kitchen while playing the song even more.

A strange feeling dawned over me as I opened my phone to check my messages. I rarely checked them other than to keep up with Pidge for school and Shiro/ Allura. There was a message from Shiro from a couple days ago that I must've missed. It read 'I miss you squirt' with a red heart icon. I smiled and figured not to reply since he would be in space by now. 

I felt sad all of the sudden. Like everything was going right in my life and I didn't deserve it. It's been so long since I've felt like this. I think Lance caught on because he got up from organizing the fridge and gave me a hug.

"I know you miss him, Keith. I know." He squeezed me tighter and kissed my forehead. "I miss my family too. I really do, even after everything they put me through."

I smiled and kissed him, forgetting about all of my emotions and focusing on Lance.

We finished putting away the groceries, and Lance started to make dinner, while I sat on the counter and untangled a string toy that Keef was playing with.

Another strange feeling dawned on me suddenly, but this one, I was very familiar with. A cloud of depression suddenly filled my head and I slipped out of the kitchen without Lance knowing. 

I went through my drawers in my desk until I found a small pencil box. I opened it, reluctantly finding my pills right where I left them. I took a couple stress relievers and slipped the pencil case back down into it's hiding, then went downstairs, feeling instantly relieved. All I needed was a little pick-me-up.

I didn't want this to be what I turned into. I didn't want to rely on pills to keep me okay. Not again. It was just once.

I came up behind Lance, who was searing chicken. I wrapped my arms around his waist and slipped my hands onto his stomach and under his shirt, nuzzling my head into his shoulder and planting kisses. I moved my hands further up to his chest. I loved feeling his heartbeat and I knew it drove him insane because his heartbeat always accelerated at my touch. 

"It's almost done." He smiled, turning his head to kiss my forehead.

Lance seasoned the chicken then moved to stir another pot of gravy, I followed not moving my position. I felt his warmth grow the longer I stood there, it filled me up.

"We should do something after we eat." He said in a sing-song voice.

"We could sleep forever." I just wanted him to hold me for hours and hours, not doing anything.

"I'll take that as a no." He chuckled. 

The food was finally done, Lance let me mash potatoes since we didn't buy the instant mix. Lance said he hates the instant kind, his mom always made it from scratch.

We laughed and ate, gossiping about how rude some people were at the store, and how they all laughed when we sang. Or how we acted even gayer in front of people when they gave us dirty looks, just to make them feel uncomfortable.

After washing the dishes and laughing more we went upstairs to sleep. We both brushed our teeth and such. Then I changed into a giant sweater and climbed into bed, followed by Lance who decided to keep his clothes on from earlier. It was really cold for us that night, nearly 50 degrees. It was extremely rare but it happened every once in a while.

I snuggled up to Lance super closely, and we sat there for a while and let our minds drift off.

"You would tell me if something was wrong right?" I asked Lance, thinking about the scratches on his thigh.

"O-of course I would. Why? What's wrong?" He looked over to me, running his hands through my hair.

"I'm just worried. I feel like we shouldn't have secrets." I mean, to be fair I was lying to him about the pills, but it's different right?

"We don't. Don't worry. I love you." Lance leaned and kissed me.

Whenever he touched me I felt my soul escape my body for a second, then re-enter much lighter than before. 

"I love you too." I kissed him again. I could feel the pill starting its halflife. My mood was getting worse and even Lance couldn't fix it. At least I was right there in his arms, right where I should have been.


	11. Update Part. 2

Okay, I'm really sorry for adding in another one of these update chapters, but I needed to ask a quick couple of questions to all of you guys.

1\. Would you guys still read this after Voltron ends?

2\. Should I post the real story behind this? If yes then when? At the end of the story, make it separate?

It's really important to me that you guys answer these questions. I promise I'm working super hard to make new chapters and pre-write chapters. I'm currently starting an episode of depression so it's really hard to concentrate or associate myself with reality at times. 

As always if you are suffering, or you think you may be experiencing symptoms of mental illness, two chapters back is a huge list of numbers you can call and in the comments there are numbers for the U.K. and if you need any other ones, feel free to contact me, or google them, and I will try my best to answer and provide those for you.

If you need any help or advice, I'm always ALWAYS here for you. I may not be able to save you, but to the best of my abilities, I will listen and try to understand what you are going through.

It is extremely imperative to me that you answer the questions at the beginning of this chapter, and feel free to comment suggestions to my story. I am constantly seeking second opinions and writing advice, which is one of the reasons it takes so long for me to post as I am a perfectionist (although I am very lazy with grammar lol) and I usually need things to flow well. 

I know the plot is a little bit (a lot bit) fucked right now but I am really trying to save it. That absolute last thing I want to do is rewrite any of my work or start over. 

Again it really would mean the world to me if you commented regarding my previously stated questions, and have a safe week until I update again!

Please seek help if you are unsafe or think you are mentally ill. I love you all very very much and this story is keeping me sane. Please stay safe and remember there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I LOVE YOU ALL OKAY I'LL SHUT UP DON'T FORGET TO ANSWER THE QUESTION!!


	12. numb

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slight nsfw and lots of fluff

July 31, 11:37 AM

*Keith*

I woke up with Lance's arms and legs wrapped around me. He looked like an angel.

I kept thinking about yesterday. My hands passing up from Lance's thigh and rushing to his ribs as he let out cries of ecstasy. The warmth between us growing more and more humid.

I was so happy to have finally gotten him over his PTSD. At least just that once if anything.

I didn't want to have to lie to him. He didn't deserve that, I needed to tell him about my problem with pills. I couldn't keep going back to them every time I started an episode.

Lance started to blink his eyes and woke up, leaning over and nuzzling his head in my shoulder.

"Good morning K-" Lance's head fell into his pillow as he dozed off. It was absolutely adorable.

"Lance, I want to talk to you about something." Better get it over with sooner or later.

"Yea?" He propped himself up before collapsing onto my lap and curling up into a ball there.

"Nevermind. What do you want to eat for breakfast?" I'd better tell him when he's fully conscious.

"Eggossss." Lance was mumbling, holding my hand from under the covers and kissing my fingers. 

"I have a feeling we shouldn't get up just yet." I smiled. 

Lance climbed up my front so that our eyes met. He kissed me and pulled me closer, kissing down my neck.

I rolled him over and planted a bunch of kisses on his face, tickling him as we laughed and giggled.

He eventually pulled me under the covers and we slept for a couple more hours.

When we woke up for the second time, Lance was leaned across my chest, twirling my hair in his fingers and humming "The Girl From Ipanema" while his other hand's fingers scratched gently at my chest. His head lay on my lower chest and he smiled at me when I woke up.

"Good morning, again." He smiled, kissing my forehead.

"Good morning." I loved how his scratching felt, so I didn't move.

"What should we eat?" He asked, placing his head down to its original spot.

"I just want to stay here forever," I whined as Lance started to get up. 

Lance pulled me up by my arms and I flopped over onto him and started to fall asleep.

"Come on Keith we gotta get up. We've slept in all morning." Lance laughed as he peeled me off of the bed.

"We don't even have to sleep. We can just stay here." I flirted.

"And do what? We won't get anything good done." Lance declared, being the mom that he is.

I leaned in and kissed him, brushing my fingers up and through the back of his hair and moving my other hand up his shirt and to his chest. I knew he loved that spot.

Lance moved one of his hands to my arm and the other to our mouths, sliding his thumb between our lips and pulling away.

"Keith. Although that sounds very appealing. It's not very productive. However, there isn't much reason to go downstairs for anything and-" I cut him off with a harder kiss, pulling and pushing us apart to tease him.

This was helping with my sudden rush of sadness from last night. Lance trailing his lips down to my ribs, while my whole body pulsed at his touch. 

In those moments, I felt things I had never felt before. Firstly I felt immense pleasure as Lance smothered me in hickeys and kisses, working his way down my abs. Secondly, I felt a strange feeling, that of what I felt last night. Oddly enough, all of the happiness of this moment was drowned out by the dark cloud in my mind. Thirdly, scratch the other two things, I felt nothing at all. If anything, I felt like crying. I had completely forgotten that Lance was there. I felt alone.

I reassociated myself with reality and realized that Lance was about to pull down my pants when I backed away quickly until my back was against the headboard. I started to cry.

"Keith?" Lance moved towards me slowly, not concerned that he did anything wrong, and not afraid. "What happened? You okay?" he moved my hair out of my face gently and placed himself next to me while holding my hand.

"I just. I don't know why this is happening to me I just can't think o-or do anything without this sadness setting into my heart and it's not your fault. I-I love you. I just, I'm just so sad. And I know you don-" Lance put his head on my shoulder, holding my hand very tight.

"It's okay. It happens to me too sometimes. Like you just want it to end but it won't, and no matter how happy you try to stay, it's just like a giant thing in your head, fucking everything up." Lance's voice was low, it was like he knew this would happen. 

"Keith," He looked up at me, still holding my hand. "You need to see someone." 

"Lance, I can't do that. I don't want anyone to know anything. I trust you, I don't even trust Shiro with that stuff." I looked at him, trying to pull away, but he grabbed my hand again.

"They can help you. Not give you the 3rd degree, or badger you. They help you and make you feel comfortable in your own skin. They can make the sadness go away Keith. I can't do that on my own. Clearly." He let go of my hand.

"I don't want to talk about this. Please, Lance." I practically begged.

"Okay. But you need to see someone."

"So do you, Lance," I argued.

"Then we'll go together then." He responded.

"Okay." I smiled. "I'm sorry for stopping. I shouldn-"

"-You were well within your rights. Never do something you don't want to. Always tell me if you don't like something or you want something else." He smiled.

"I want something else," I said.

"What do you me-" I kissed him softly.

I tried but Lance whined, pulling me back in. Before it got too intense we slowed down, and Lance looked me in the eyes smiling.

"We should go eat some food." I smiled. Lance nodded and I took a shower while he went and started the food.

I stood against the wall of my shower, letting the steaming hot water caress the grooves of my skin. 

Over the course of what was now almost 10 days, I had fallen in love with a complete stranger.

I mean, that was okay. There's something about how Lance treated me that just made me love him. I had always been the type of person to take a while to fall in love. I trained myself from a young age not to get too attached, because I wouldn't know when the person I cared for would just up and leave me. I had to stay alert, or else I would only end up hurt.

A little white lie wouldn't do any harm. Right? As long as I have control over my pill intake, Lance doesn't have to know. 

My logic didn't really make sense, but it's better than feeling empty. 

I finished and dried myself off. The bathroom smelled like vanilla because of Lance's shampoo that he made me buy.

I put on sweatpants and headed downstairs, to my surprise, I looked down to see my whole chest covered completely in hickeys and bite marks. Before I could turn around in embarrassment and change upstairs, Lance came behind me and wrapped his arms under and around my shoulders, blowing raspberries in my neck. 

"Stop that tickles," I giggled.

"That's the point genius." Lance snickered, before turning around me and kissing me tenderly. 

"How was the shower? I smell that shampoo." Lance smiled, wiping the drippy water from my cheeks.

"I love the smell." I awkwardly said, while Lance turned back around and swayed his hips to the Spanish music he had playing. I hadn't noticed it until then. 

Lance was mixing up some batter and had turned on what looked to be a waffle maker, one that I wasn't aware we owned. 

"Do you want chocolate chips in them?" He asked. 

"Is that even a question? Of course." I laughed.

I opened the cabinet to get the chocolate chips and unfortunately couldn't find them, however, I did find sprinkles.

"Do sprinkles work?" I asked.

"Um... Sure?" Lance laughed, taking the container from my hand. 

We made the waffles and ate them, laughing about stories from when we were growing up.

"That's nothing. One time in preschool me and Hunk shoved crayons up our noses. I shoved a pink one so far up that I had to go to the hospital to get it removed. I still have the scar." Lance tilted his head back, revealing a small scar on the inside roof of his nose.

"Oh my god, Lance." I laughed so hard that a piece of waffle flew from my mouth onto the table, and we both laughed even more.

After breakfast, we decided to go out for a walk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm really sorry for being so inactive. i'm really trying to stay positive. i wrote this chapter about two months ago and intended to finish it but never got around to it. i had never thought things might ever be this bad with my mental health, i'm constantly busy and doing so well on the outside, but it's tearing my apart on the inside. i really hope you all enjoy this well-earned chapter, thank you for your patience and dedication. as always, stay safe. <3


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